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What should I do?

No matter what's been going on, when I'm finally home and alone with my thoughts, i feel miserable all over again. No matter what I have going on. I don't know what this means but it doesn't seem good, obviously.
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Whenever I'm home alone with my thoughts its when I'm the most happiest, What do people do for you that makes you happy and unhappy when they're not around?
TheImpossibleKid · 26-30, M
Other people make me happy when they genuinely check up on me, ya know? But i hate being the first to say hi and i dont want to feel like im using them as a crutch.