maan.. i jast wanna vent once again...
im not here to seek answers but just to vent my emotion bc i cant do it irl.
My biggest problem now is that i feel just so lonely. i have only 1 friend at my school and out of school i have friends from my old school that i play with from time to time. i mean i don't necessarily need many friends, i'm not very sociable person but the problem is that my friend that is in my school is also my ex who has now another partner. (we broke up around half a year ago and i still havent fully gotten over her bc well. shes my only friend there).
but anyway. i feel and know my biggest problem is that im not social enough. I think i can have a somewhat good conversation and time with people but the problem is approaching and starting conversations.
idk why but im massively terrified and scared to approach people or smth like that. i have very little confidence in myself. so i mostly wish people would rather approach me instead, but i know that is not the way to make friends. plus i think people dont approach me for few reasons.
first is probably my appearance. My faces normal mode looks like i dont want to be approached by people and might think i am a bit scary (at least thats what my friends have told me before). Second is probably is bc im so much alone in classes people might think i dont want to be with people. third is that i live in finland and nobody approaches people they dont know or very rarely if they have to. most people in my highschool had already friends from before so that might have smth to do with it i guess.
it is also hard that i like my alone time and its hard for me to be with people all the time so that gets in the way i thinks.
but i know if i want friends i need to be more social and approach people more. and i also need to get out of my comfort zone more too and do more things that has me interacting with people and whatnot. But the biggest thing is that i also dont want to so i crumble to my normal antisocial lifestyle and then think to myself at home why i am such a loser and idiot.
well anywho. i dont think my life is like super bad and im also starting to feel like i dont need any more friends as a cope i think. but i would like to have someone to talk to hevier stuff or smth.
and apologies if you read this whole thing. it might not make any sense bc im tired and just wrote something fast as i could. and english isn't my fist language also.
GN
My biggest problem now is that i feel just so lonely. i have only 1 friend at my school and out of school i have friends from my old school that i play with from time to time. i mean i don't necessarily need many friends, i'm not very sociable person but the problem is that my friend that is in my school is also my ex who has now another partner. (we broke up around half a year ago and i still havent fully gotten over her bc well. shes my only friend there).
but anyway. i feel and know my biggest problem is that im not social enough. I think i can have a somewhat good conversation and time with people but the problem is approaching and starting conversations.
idk why but im massively terrified and scared to approach people or smth like that. i have very little confidence in myself. so i mostly wish people would rather approach me instead, but i know that is not the way to make friends. plus i think people dont approach me for few reasons.
first is probably my appearance. My faces normal mode looks like i dont want to be approached by people and might think i am a bit scary (at least thats what my friends have told me before). Second is probably is bc im so much alone in classes people might think i dont want to be with people. third is that i live in finland and nobody approaches people they dont know or very rarely if they have to. most people in my highschool had already friends from before so that might have smth to do with it i guess.
it is also hard that i like my alone time and its hard for me to be with people all the time so that gets in the way i thinks.
but i know if i want friends i need to be more social and approach people more. and i also need to get out of my comfort zone more too and do more things that has me interacting with people and whatnot. But the biggest thing is that i also dont want to so i crumble to my normal antisocial lifestyle and then think to myself at home why i am such a loser and idiot.
well anywho. i dont think my life is like super bad and im also starting to feel like i dont need any more friends as a cope i think. but i would like to have someone to talk to hevier stuff or smth.
and apologies if you read this whole thing. it might not make any sense bc im tired and just wrote something fast as i could. and english isn't my fist language also.
GN
18-21, M
