The Screwtape Letters

I don’t think I’ve ever [i]thought[/i] so much, but what will always stick the stickiest will be the law of undulation. It is both comfort and despair… like “this too shall pass.” What brought me to the place where I found it - as I probably never would have stumbled across it to read - was a trough of epic proportions, and I listened to it at a peak. Not a great dizzying height or anything, but a peak nonetheless where I can feel completely, see as clearly as ever I’m able, delight in all those thoughts bouncing off each other like bingo balls. I think sometimes I’m too contradictory, too wishy washy. I feel like I need to be striving for stability and solidity and I’ll be a failure until I get there. An imposter.

I will never get there. Or maybe it’s better to say I’m already there. I am solidly contradictory, my peaks and troughs as reliable as the sun. I’m not wishy washy but ethereal, adaptable, spiritual, emotional, [i]alive[/i]. I am obeying the law.

It helps a bit to look at it like that.