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Maybe she didn't want your help, and maybe that's why she never texted back , coz it'd seem mean to say " I don't want your help".
So she left it, thinking - 'if I don't let her know when I'm in ...she won't be able to help and I won't have to turn her down and be rude '.
But you came in anyway ....and surprised her.
You asked ....she found you stuff to do ...and then you asked again ...and she had nothing else to give you to do, and may not have wanted your help in the first place .
Which is why she got pissy coz she didn't ask for it ...but you kept at it .
Shes wondering why on earth you showed up when she gave you no indication of wanting you there on that day in the first place .
I'm guessing by her age ....she's experienced . She's got what she does down pat . And she's old enough to know to ask for help if she needs it.
You asking and asking again if she needs help can come across as you think she needs it .
She might be sensitive to being 'older' and thinking others might think she should just retire - which could make her want to be MORE independent.
I could imagine if I went to work and someone showed up and started asking if I needed help - it'd put me out of my routine, and I don't know if they would do it to the standard I want .
It's nice, it's considerate ....but there's only a few things I'd trust them with . The rest id want to do myself ....to my standard .
I can see you're trying to be helpful .
The thing is ....if people don't speak up for it, or respond back to it , or avoid replying ....[b][i]maybe [/i][/b].....just maybe....they don't want it ?
I hope this doesn't seem rude. I just tried to put myself in an opposed view point .
So she left it, thinking - 'if I don't let her know when I'm in ...she won't be able to help and I won't have to turn her down and be rude '.
But you came in anyway ....and surprised her.
You asked ....she found you stuff to do ...and then you asked again ...and she had nothing else to give you to do, and may not have wanted your help in the first place .
Which is why she got pissy coz she didn't ask for it ...but you kept at it .
Shes wondering why on earth you showed up when she gave you no indication of wanting you there on that day in the first place .
I'm guessing by her age ....she's experienced . She's got what she does down pat . And she's old enough to know to ask for help if she needs it.
You asking and asking again if she needs help can come across as you think she needs it .
She might be sensitive to being 'older' and thinking others might think she should just retire - which could make her want to be MORE independent.
I could imagine if I went to work and someone showed up and started asking if I needed help - it'd put me out of my routine, and I don't know if they would do it to the standard I want .
It's nice, it's considerate ....but there's only a few things I'd trust them with . The rest id want to do myself ....to my standard .
I can see you're trying to be helpful .
The thing is ....if people don't speak up for it, or respond back to it , or avoid replying ....[b][i]maybe [/i][/b].....just maybe....they don't want it ?
I hope this doesn't seem rude. I just tried to put myself in an opposed view point .
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OogieBoogie · F
@OpalFlower and it would never had happened if you never went in.🤷
Or it never would have happened if you stopped asking if she needs more help .🤷
And it never would have happened if you just stayed at the computer doing your stuff in the first place .🤷
You did kinda keep pushing the matter.
Plus...she already wanted you to get the bulletin board done ...and you came in but weren't prepped to do the one thing she made you responsible for .
I'm just trying to make you see that you should pay attention just as much as to what people do/say, as to what they don't do/say.
If you push too hard ...you force people into situations they don't like, and to edges they feel pushed over .
Maybe she was not bought up to be bluntly outspoken ....but to be polite or say nothing at all?
...and you pushed her past it .
And consider this .
If "well you can leave", gets to you, imagine how upset you're get at "no...I don't want your help ".?
Or it never would have happened if you stopped asking if she needs more help .🤷
And it never would have happened if you just stayed at the computer doing your stuff in the first place .🤷
You did kinda keep pushing the matter.
Plus...she already wanted you to get the bulletin board done ...and you came in but weren't prepped to do the one thing she made you responsible for .
I'm just trying to make you see that you should pay attention just as much as to what people do/say, as to what they don't do/say.
If you push too hard ...you force people into situations they don't like, and to edges they feel pushed over .
Maybe she was not bought up to be bluntly outspoken ....but to be polite or say nothing at all?
...and you pushed her past it .
And consider this .
If "well you can leave", gets to you, imagine how upset you're get at "no...I don't want your help ".?
OpalFlower · 31-35, F
@OogieBoogie Got it. Lol so if anything I won't ask if she needs any help or mention if you need help just let me know. Maybe I didn't realize how much I was mentioning but I don't think I was asking no more than maybe 2 times and left it alone to do my computer work. If she needs my help then she can come to me and ask.
OogieBoogie · F
@OpalFlower Ahhh. See ...now that is prolly the problem here . Yeah, just ask once and leave it be .
Sometimes it's an unspoken thing in the workplace - you do your work you are given first, before you go do anything else .
And if you ask to help, or for help, don't keep asking ....if people can give it - they will, of people want it - they'll say.
If they don't do anything ....just leave the ball in their court .
Also : some people can get very 'ownership' over their job. They have worked out a system, and are comfortable in it . And if anyone steps into that system - it disrupts it and makes it harder .
I know at my work , that if I'm away , and someone else steps in to do my job...I can spend a day or so reshuffling shit back to how I like it .
But I'm glad you finally understand the bigger picture - yours and (possibly) hers.
🤗
Sometimes it's an unspoken thing in the workplace - you do your work you are given first, before you go do anything else .
And if you ask to help, or for help, don't keep asking ....if people can give it - they will, of people want it - they'll say.
If they don't do anything ....just leave the ball in their court .
Also : some people can get very 'ownership' over their job. They have worked out a system, and are comfortable in it . And if anyone steps into that system - it disrupts it and makes it harder .
I know at my work , that if I'm away , and someone else steps in to do my job...I can spend a day or so reshuffling shit back to how I like it .
But I'm glad you finally understand the bigger picture - yours and (possibly) hers.
🤗
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
OpalFlower · 31-35, F
@hippyjoe1955 Ok so if she wasn't prepared for my help....why not just leave me alone at the computer doing my professional development courses that she keeps bugging me about to do....when I keep having a issue logging in from anywhere else.....Then trying to contact the school board to help me fix the issue is like trying to get in contact with the President lol