idk who am i anymore

deep heavy existential crisis

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AlchemyFox · 36-40, F

That’s how it starts. If you persist in the dark, you will find beauty there. Your monsters aren’t there to hurt you, but to protect you. It’s a beautiful and scary time. You can persist trying to find value in the mass considered norm, or you can deeply learn yourself 🖤

blackmoon · 26-30, M

@AlchemyFox its been more than a decade and I keep finding no end to my darkness

AlchemyFox · 36-40, F

@blackmoon Same here, but I find out a lot about myself on the journey. Mostly through pain.

blackmoon · 26-30, M

@AlchemyFox i totally understand that and accept that, but its soo long now that I am all tired and alone and broken

AlchemyFox · 36-40, F

@blackmoon I don’t know your journey, you don’t know mine. Just saying tired, alone and broken is part of it. I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, I’m just dancing in the dark. Maybe I’ve lost my mind, maybe I’ve found it. What’s the difference really?

blackmoon · 26-30, M

@AlchemyFox yea, all the questions about the dark tunnel, dancing or not, being or not its all too much to handle when you are in too much sorrow

AlchemyFox · 36-40, F

@blackmoon then maybe you need rest 🖤

blackmoon · 26-30, M

@AlchemyFox youll be surprised but i actually don't know how to self love self care

AlchemyFox · 36-40, F

@blackmoon not surprised. I cut sometimes but I still like myself too. Not saying that’s ideal, but some of us have been broken beyond repair. You just find your own way when you accept that no one can help you and no one is coming.

blackmoon · 26-30, M

@AlchemyFox yeah, true that. i know. i also have attempted suicide a few times, got failed in those too lol. and I have been alone since my childhood so yeah, no luck still

AlchemyFox · 36-40, F

@blackmoon I’m not gonna give you some crap about being patient and everyone has someone… learning how to love solitude helped me.

blackmoon · 26-30, M

@AlchemyFox relearning life and healing my inner child, its been hard and lonely but I cant give up , its tiring tho

AlchemyFox · 36-40, F

@blackmoon If you don’t give up you will find what you need to make a life worth living. That I do know. And taking a rest is okay too. It’s a looooong and lonely journey. I don’t even know if it’s confined to this life or not 🤷🏼‍♀️ straight into the dark unknown is my way.

blackmoon · 26-30, M

@AlchemyFox i am trying each day. i am hopeless if I ever will find something. but I don't have much options

AlchemyFox · 36-40, F

@blackmoon hope isn’t that great. It’s kinda crap actually 😆 trying is where it’s at and is personally where I find the fun in existing.

I don’t know you, but I believe in you simply because of what you shared. People who know darkness and pain, know transparency and strength.

blackmoon · 26-30, M

@AlchemyFox thank you for ur kind words and suggestions. yea, hope is what makes us miserable. know enough darkness and I kinda got comfortable there but obviously its not peaceful so

AlchemyFox · 36-40, F

@blackmoon you will find it.

You’re alone but you’re not. I’ve met others, but rarely, willing to face their shadows. It’s all very enigmatic.

blackmoon · 26-30, M

@AlchemyFox well at the end of the day one needs some peaceful enigma I guess

AlchemyFox · 36-40, F

@blackmoon it’s gotta be more interesting than pretending everything is perfect all the time 😆

blackmoon · 26-30, M

@AlchemyFox that’s it. If I would have pretended I would be way fake and lived a lie till now. Glad I ain’t that lol