Dead or Alive
It’s been a while. I don’t even know how to post this in a particular group these days! 😜
I was talking to someone about this account the other day and thought I’d see if it was still alive. Took a bit to figure out the password, but here I am!
I was reading through past posts…goodness. I have to say, kudos to myself for being such an open book while still hiding secrets 😜 It’s amazing how differently things can appear just by omitting some things or giving more focus to others. I know why I was doing it then though, and I’d probably do it still if I decide to actually write here again. That’s kind of why social media stinks though. Always revealing the good and hiding the bad. How perfect everyone’s lives can be! lol Honestly though, it’s just easier to deal with your problems without others butting in with their nonsense 😜
Thinking I might give this place another go. I don’t think any of my old friends are still hanging around here these days….and I’m skeptical of whether I’ll actually approve of this place, but I we’ll see. A trial period, I suppose, is only fair.
Anyway, for now I’m not going to go into anything too much.
I will talk about motherhood shortly though, as our infertility was a big topic I covered and I stopped posting while I was pregnant.
My girl is 3 now. She is amazing….seriously the best thing ever. Motherhood has far surpassed my wildest hopes and dreams. She’s filled pretty much every void I ever filled. She’s my missing piece….my whole heart. It’s unreal how much I love her and how much joy she brings into my life.
One thing I used to vent about on here was my fear of being like my mother one day. Now that I’m a mom myself, and I’ve been at it a while 😜, I realize that was the dumbest worry to ever have. I’m nothing like my mother. I do tend to go over the top when it comes to parties and I love to bake….and I have a huge love for the river…that’s about where our similarities stop. Where my mother was hurtful emotionally and physically, I am calm and gentle. On the rare occasions I have lost my temper and yelled too harshly, I’ve sat with her and apologized and expressed my wrongs and how I should have behaved. Something my mother never would’ve done. Mine was always right. I am always human, and I try to teach that to my girl every day…that we are all beings with hearts and feelings who need to be good to one another regardless of our tempers and whatnot. We all make mistakes, but we should all work to correct them and learn from them. My mom always complained that I wasn’t an affectionate child. I think it was because she was always harsh with me and I never felt safe or loved in her arms. My girl’s favorite place is in my arms. She’s gentle, kind, immensely affectionate and she has the confidence of a human who has been filled to the brim with love that is stable, secure, and gentle-just how love SHOULD be. Nothing has ever validated me more about what kind of person I am than being this girl’s mommy. I’m a far better parent than I ever dreamed I would be and I can honestly say…being her mom was my calling in life. She was worth everything…all the things I gave up, all the years of struggling, everything….and ALL of the painful parts made me this amazing mother that I am.
I have other things I would love to write about, but I don’t really have the time nor do I fully trust being too open here yet. So for now, here’s to seeing whether cherryxblossom is dead or alive. In the real world, I’m very much alive ❤️
I was talking to someone about this account the other day and thought I’d see if it was still alive. Took a bit to figure out the password, but here I am!
I was reading through past posts…goodness. I have to say, kudos to myself for being such an open book while still hiding secrets 😜 It’s amazing how differently things can appear just by omitting some things or giving more focus to others. I know why I was doing it then though, and I’d probably do it still if I decide to actually write here again. That’s kind of why social media stinks though. Always revealing the good and hiding the bad. How perfect everyone’s lives can be! lol Honestly though, it’s just easier to deal with your problems without others butting in with their nonsense 😜
Thinking I might give this place another go. I don’t think any of my old friends are still hanging around here these days….and I’m skeptical of whether I’ll actually approve of this place, but I we’ll see. A trial period, I suppose, is only fair.
Anyway, for now I’m not going to go into anything too much.
I will talk about motherhood shortly though, as our infertility was a big topic I covered and I stopped posting while I was pregnant.
My girl is 3 now. She is amazing….seriously the best thing ever. Motherhood has far surpassed my wildest hopes and dreams. She’s filled pretty much every void I ever filled. She’s my missing piece….my whole heart. It’s unreal how much I love her and how much joy she brings into my life.
One thing I used to vent about on here was my fear of being like my mother one day. Now that I’m a mom myself, and I’ve been at it a while 😜, I realize that was the dumbest worry to ever have. I’m nothing like my mother. I do tend to go over the top when it comes to parties and I love to bake….and I have a huge love for the river…that’s about where our similarities stop. Where my mother was hurtful emotionally and physically, I am calm and gentle. On the rare occasions I have lost my temper and yelled too harshly, I’ve sat with her and apologized and expressed my wrongs and how I should have behaved. Something my mother never would’ve done. Mine was always right. I am always human, and I try to teach that to my girl every day…that we are all beings with hearts and feelings who need to be good to one another regardless of our tempers and whatnot. We all make mistakes, but we should all work to correct them and learn from them. My mom always complained that I wasn’t an affectionate child. I think it was because she was always harsh with me and I never felt safe or loved in her arms. My girl’s favorite place is in my arms. She’s gentle, kind, immensely affectionate and she has the confidence of a human who has been filled to the brim with love that is stable, secure, and gentle-just how love SHOULD be. Nothing has ever validated me more about what kind of person I am than being this girl’s mommy. I’m a far better parent than I ever dreamed I would be and I can honestly say…being her mom was my calling in life. She was worth everything…all the things I gave up, all the years of struggling, everything….and ALL of the painful parts made me this amazing mother that I am.
I have other things I would love to write about, but I don’t really have the time nor do I fully trust being too open here yet. So for now, here’s to seeing whether cherryxblossom is dead or alive. In the real world, I’m very much alive ❤️
