Unique or the same
After 43 years of life, I understand how we all want to be different and yet the same. To stand out enough to feel special and like our little light in the world helps.
And yet, blending in and being overlooked brings acceptance and calm to life.
It's a delicate balance to be sure.
For me, I was built to be a fighter, I don't mind rocking the boat, hurting a few feelings, or offending anyone but only if I've already decided it's helpful.
The rest of the time, I'd rather just sit on the side lines observing the circus of life and letting it all pass me by in peace.
The times I've caused a ruckus or what I call stirring the water to see what's settled to the bottom, it's been emotionally difficult. As an empath, I feel emotions, or what I identify as energy, very deeply and keenly. It's always been a challenge to compartmentalize my energy and direction from those around me. More often than not, I have to set my face like flint and just ride the waves of the situation.
Some people, no, most people don't like it when I do it. I'm sad about that. When I was younger I was reckless with my words and behavior. Now, I attempt to be more calculated because the goal isn't to upset but to reveal hidden things that need to come to light. To bring healing, or new direction.
How silly. Maybe I'm just a bitch who likes to cause trouble!!
I don't know yet but I know enough to know I don't know it all!! And I'll just keep swimming looking for spots in the water to stir.
And yet, blending in and being overlooked brings acceptance and calm to life.
It's a delicate balance to be sure.
For me, I was built to be a fighter, I don't mind rocking the boat, hurting a few feelings, or offending anyone but only if I've already decided it's helpful.
The rest of the time, I'd rather just sit on the side lines observing the circus of life and letting it all pass me by in peace.
The times I've caused a ruckus or what I call stirring the water to see what's settled to the bottom, it's been emotionally difficult. As an empath, I feel emotions, or what I identify as energy, very deeply and keenly. It's always been a challenge to compartmentalize my energy and direction from those around me. More often than not, I have to set my face like flint and just ride the waves of the situation.
Some people, no, most people don't like it when I do it. I'm sad about that. When I was younger I was reckless with my words and behavior. Now, I attempt to be more calculated because the goal isn't to upset but to reveal hidden things that need to come to light. To bring healing, or new direction.
How silly. Maybe I'm just a bitch who likes to cause trouble!!
I don't know yet but I know enough to know I don't know it all!! And I'll just keep swimming looking for spots in the water to stir.
41-45, F
