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I wish those about to embark on the fantastic voyage of University happiness in their further education.

But please do remember that it still is [i] education [/i]. The studies you elected to furnish you with the accreditation to separate yourselves from the less motivated must come before frivolous endeavours and people posting pictures of you wearing jarring clothing on the internet.

You will perhaps (if you didn't try hard enough and were unfortunate enough to have to go to a less traditional university) be exposed to strange lifestyles, modes of speech and of course, drugs which are significantly more harmful than many would like you to believe.

This is not to say that one should never have fun, but it should be the type of fun that is not likely to interfere with ones sleep schedule because being well rested will be instrumental in your achievements of academic distinction. When frivolity has been earned then ideally the type of amusement one should gravitate towards should have finished by early evening so that the evening meal is always at the same time every day .

If you are lucky enough, you may be able to go punting among lovely scenery. If this is the case then young ladies I would advise you to comport yourself with decorum. Summer dresses will get wet so please be aware of this and wear something that will not become transparent. And remember, sit with your legs closed! I confess, I remember decades ago finding it strangely stirring as a dashing young man masterfully commanded the punt under the elmy ambience of the river Cam but I remembered I was a lady kept my legs firmly together.

And please, even though this might have been your first time in a punt, or indeed, a boat of any description, please do not let the excitement manifest itself so that you are laughing so loud others can hear you. There is a chance that the young man who is punting you is from a significantly more refined social background than you and will find such behaviour off putting if not outright unladylike. And it is further true that high jinx and amusements might make it harder to hide ones real accent - for those of you unlucky enough to be from an inner city let's say- and any efforts at elocution you've made to hide your unfortunate origins might be undone and your romantic merit among well brought up among well brought up men on campus will be significantly downgraded. This could result in you yourself having to downgrade your aspirations in regards to the subsequent marriage and family ambitions.

I do not mean to be somber because this is a happy occasion and I just meant to warn some of you of certain pitfalls. I wish you a happy Freshers Week.
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SW-User
I cannot tell whether this is satire or the most severe form of generational conflict I have ever come across.

The best part of university besides being able to study something you are passionate about are the different people,cultures and lifestyles one is exposed to.
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MsBellows · 61-69, F
@SW-User Well I do hope that whatever the first years are passionate about is something sensible and not some whimsy humanities nonsense such as sociology or some other fabricated to order aphoristic collection of dizzy fever dreams.
SW-User
@MsBellows As a sociology student I can tell you it's no nonsense. Collecting and analyzing empirical data is key to understanding society. I doubt you know much about that field.
MsBellows · 61-69, F
@SW-User Sociology is half feminist theory and stuff like that. While I believe that the right to vote was a hard won fight and one that I'm grateful for I do not believe the tribulations of Emily and her cohorts warrant a course where half of the modules are to the reason many young women have such silly ideas these days.
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SW-User
@MsBellows That's absolutely not true. Feminism is much more part of gender studies.
Sociology is all about analyzing societal structures as well as human behaviour. It's utilized in marketing for example to find out what people expect from a product or it's used to analyze the effect a certain policy has on the population.
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SW-User
@SW-User I know but I hear this argument attacking Sociology all the time so in hope some conservatives on here read it i'll argue :)
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