More tears than I can even count anymore.

@GLITTER Thank you for being so thoughtful and I really do forget my own past easily. I have faced problems like this and I have improved before. I just don’t know what I did this time but it really doesn’t feel ok and I’m so frustrated with myself. I was able to get my independence back and I had 5 years at least of being able to do stuff that I was starting to think I’d never do again. I just wish I could have been more careful 😔

@2cool4school it just gets tiresome. I completely understand, the same with my ears, I just want to be normal again. I ask myself why did I do all that underwater swimming, why did I dunk my head in the bath so much, unfortunately there’s no answer and no chance in going back in time, so I’ll just have to deal with the hand that’s been given to me. I’m just sorry hun, all I can say is keep strong and keep fighting. My thoughts are with you 💖💖

@GLITTER Thank you. I’m so sorry I didn’t know about your ears. I’ve had problems with mine I’ve always had ear infections due to my very broken nose affecting my sinuses but I’m lucky that I don’t have anything outstanding as far as damage but I feel like I understand that “what if…?” Feeling too. I’m so sorry that you have had to deal with that. 😔 I’m always here if I can help in anyway please don’t hesitate to contact me I want to be as helpful as possible. You’re so kind I’d feel better if I could make anything better on your end.

@2cool4school I’m okay hun, my ear has healed from its operation so I’m doing a lot better. I’m just particularly deaf at the moment 😂 my left ear will be operated on at some point but it doesn’t get as many infections so it’s not so urgent to get it done, which I’m really happy with as the surgery itself and the recovery is pretty rough. They can wait for as long as they like lol! You’re so kind to have your own troubles and wanting to help with mine! You’re such a good friend 🤗🤗🤗

@GLITTER I really don’t know any other way. I wish I didn’t have to deal with my own stuff so I could be more helpful tbh. I’m just glad that we are friends. I’m so grateful to have you to light up my darker times. You are so kind and thoughtful and I don’t want be in the position I am in but I do know that I still have the capacity and capability to help others especially when they have been so helpful to me.

@2cool4school it’s hard to see friends suffer if you ever want to just vent or reach out, I’m here for you 💖💖

@GLITTER Thank you I was actually going to message you because you always have the best profile pics and I do appreciate your attention and your helpful spirit. I just can’t seem to pick myself up when I’m down currently but I have to remember that I can get better and I shouldn’t worry until I have something real to worry about. I’m stressed about needing surgery again but I have a few steps to go through before that’s definitely an option that I need to explore.

@2cool4school it’s good to explore the options just incase. I hope that process isn’t too stressful either!! I hope you feel a bit better soon! Mental health is just as important as psychical and these things can be a strain on your mental health!! For now here’s some kitties to make you smile 😊

@GLITTER Thank you 😊 I’m touched by your generosity and kindness. I’m easily upset about my situation because so much is still up in the air but I’m also easily upset at night. I’m a night owl but it’s also the hardest time for me too. I can get overwhelmed easier with fewer distractions. Thank you for the cute kitties 🐱

@2cool4school hahah I’m a morning girl!! I’m pretty sure I rise with the sunshine lol! Nothing like the quiet of morning where you can sit with the birds and just gather your thoughts for the day 😊 the worst thing about not knowing or being up in the air is the anxiety it creates. For months I worried my ear infections would cause me more a serious illness, for instance there was one stage I was terrified I would get meningitis if they didn’t act quickly and get the surgery done. After all that, I turn up at the hospital for my surgery just to be sent away with covid 😂 if I didn’t laugh about it I probably would have still been crying now lol! I just thought to myself, fate will let these happen as and when they must so to just sit back and enjoy the ride until then 😂 xxx

@GLITTER you have such a good attitude too I really hope that your situation is improved as best it can be. I just feel bad that we never really discussed it but I’m glad that you shared it with me tonight. I still get ear infections. I do often forget not to put my ears under water in hot tubs especially and I usually end up having to go to a doctor. I have a bad luck history of doing it on vacations. The worst was actually in a hot spring that I don’t believe was chlorinated but I do remember that that doc I saw was astounded by what he saw in my ears. I’m unlucky in the sense that I just produce a lot of ear wax. My dad is the same. I don’t usually remember that I need to get my ears flushed until I feel an ear infection coming on. I was so hypersensitive as a baby that I would feel them before my pediatrician could even see them. He was very wise and told my parents that I’m just prone to them and due to my coloring I’m just hypersensitive to many things in life.
I just hope that things improve for you and I definitely feel so fortunate that we are friends.

@2cool4school ahhh hun so you defo know the pain of ear infections. Mine started around 3/4 years ago. I didn’t really ever have any problems with them before that. But I did a lot of swimming for months and I’d quit smoking so I wanted to test my lung capacity and kept going under the water. In one of the first ear infections my doctor said you have bacteria in there which is usually found in a male sexually transmitted infection 😭😭 so some fcker was swimming with an STI 🤮 anyway the ears infections carried on until blood started coming out of my ears and at that point I knew soemthing wasn’t right. It took years of battling my gp to refer me to ENT for a specialist to look at it. I’m just glad I’m over that part and my ENT doctor really looks after me now. I feel like I’ve been to hell and back with it, but when your in the midst of it all, you think it’s never going to end. Please don’t worry if this is the first you have heard about it, I’ve barely been on SW in months and only made the odd post here and there, so it’s not common knowledge! I’m sorry you have so many things to contend with. You’re still here today hun smiling and standing strong! You got this 💪🏼

@GLITTER Omg you have had a real battle not just with your ears but with a gp too I don’t understand why any doctors are so stubborn about stuff that won’t reflect negatively on them and can only help you to get the care you need. I’m just so sorry that you had to go through that. And I’m pretty sure that pools are way less clean and healthy than we know. I try my best to only put my head under water in the ocean but it’s still not the best or cleanest too. I had an ENT that was fantastic too mostly in my early childhood but I saw him right up to college. He really understood that my sinus problems and ear infections were due to the way that my nose was obstructed from breaking it way too many times. I just used to find ways when I was about 5-7 I had a few on the playground. I was a little hyperkinetic and I didn’t all look where I was going. I broke it in soccer too. But I always felt like as soon as I got it fixed by a plastic surgeon I’d probably do it again so I just kept putting it off. But you seem to have just been at the wrong pool at the wrong time and I’m so sorry. I don’t ever want an std but I definitely don’t want one to find a way into my ear. You seem to be very good at articulating your experience and I just hope that things will improve and you can you can enjoy your life without worry. Blood from the ear would be rather upsetting for most people I’m sure. I don’t remember but I think my sister was actually worse off than I was as a child I’m pretty sure she had tubes in her ears and I may have or I may have been past needing them when we went to the doc. I used to have larger lungs than average and I always felt like I had to use my “gift” mostly for running and other cardio stuff but I also enjoyed being able to swim well enough to make surfing a little easier to learn. But I do remember getting so much sand stuck in my ears that my doctor used to make jokes when I got my ears cleaned. I think the worst time was actually in Hawaii and I had problems with the change in pressure on the plane and then swimming and surfing just made it worse. By the time I got to a clinic I was in a ton of pain and I get dizzy rather easily. The very kind doctor who also liked to surf pulled out something that looked like a hair-ball from a cat. He showed it to me up close and I was already queasy and it was so disgusting looking and smelling that I vomited right into the waste basket. I used to get motion sickness from most ear related issues. I think I recall the doc saying that he made soup out of the stuff he was extracting to try and lighten up my mood which actually only made me feel sick again lol.
And I do agree that sometimes laughing at something that is so overpowering its absurd and laughter is good medicine too.
I’m just glad that you have such a good attitude about everything. I need to remember to breath. I get so fixated that often my problems are all I can see. I really feel a lot better talking to you as well I don’t have many if any friends in the area I grew up in. It’s just too expensive so everyone moves away.

@2cool4school urgh that’s so totally relatable! I hate the dizziness, I think I would rather a banging headache then have to deal with that again. I feel for anyone who has Ménière’s disease or vertigo as they get that all the time! My ent doctor gave me a few exercises to help with it if it happens again! I’m really pleased to hear you’re feeling a bit better after talking it out! I’m always here to listen if you need it 😌 good friends are hard to come by sometimes so I’m glad I have you too 🤗

@GLITTER You’re very correct about good friends in my experience. I can find common ground with almost anyone but finding a true friend has become more elusive by the year. I’m so glad that we crossed paths and I really do feel like you understand me and I hope I’m understanding you as well as you are me. I worry that I’m just too scattered with my own stuff sometimes but I prefer to get help when I can also give help in return.