Meds literally saved my life
I know some people say it’s not good to live off meds but idc, two years ago I was literally going crazy. I would pick any word of a sentence someone was telling me and overthink about it- especially anything my bf would tell me. I couldn’t stop thinking about the past and how my dad left, how mean my mom was to me, etc.
I would hate waking up everyday, it was torture and I just hated living tbh. I’d self-harm almost everyday. I was close to kms twice.. I had no interest in nothing and found joy in nothing. I was so miserable everyday. I hated everyone except my little sister and bf. I hated my mom’s bf and was literally thinking of ways to kill him.
I remember I would even hear and see things every-so often- when I’d get incredibly depressed and would get scared for no reason. I’d also think everyone was lying to me or playing with me.
I couldn’t be reasoned with either.
Every month or so I’d get a mental breakdown and cut myself and bang my head against the wall and go completely even more insane.
Everyday I had very bad reoccurring thoughts and I just couldn’t control them, and I’d get super bad anxiety if I didn’t talk about them to someone. I didn’t know how to make myself feel better at all or dismiss my thoughts.
That was my life for 2 years since 2019 to 2021. I was a bit like that starting 2017, but it got worse in 2019 for some reason…
I was diagnosed with severe depression and got put on Lexapro in late 2020. I am doing so good now. I haven’t felt this happy in so many years. I have a job, bought my own car and am going back to school soon. I am overall more positive and don’t have obsessive thoughts any longer, don’t overthink, I rarely get depressed, and my anxiety is non-existent really.
I do sometimes get depressed but it’s not bad at all- not even close to how it used to be, and it’s also incredibly rare (I usually get a bit depressed during menses). When I do get depressed I now know how to control my thoughts and how to dismiss intrusive thoughts when I am overthinking. I can make myself feel better and distract myself.
I’ve really done my best to make myself a better person. Therapy and meds really have helped as well.
I would hate waking up everyday, it was torture and I just hated living tbh. I’d self-harm almost everyday. I was close to kms twice.. I had no interest in nothing and found joy in nothing. I was so miserable everyday. I hated everyone except my little sister and bf. I hated my mom’s bf and was literally thinking of ways to kill him.
I remember I would even hear and see things every-so often- when I’d get incredibly depressed and would get scared for no reason. I’d also think everyone was lying to me or playing with me.
I couldn’t be reasoned with either.
Every month or so I’d get a mental breakdown and cut myself and bang my head against the wall and go completely even more insane.
Everyday I had very bad reoccurring thoughts and I just couldn’t control them, and I’d get super bad anxiety if I didn’t talk about them to someone. I didn’t know how to make myself feel better at all or dismiss my thoughts.
That was my life for 2 years since 2019 to 2021. I was a bit like that starting 2017, but it got worse in 2019 for some reason…
I was diagnosed with severe depression and got put on Lexapro in late 2020. I am doing so good now. I haven’t felt this happy in so many years. I have a job, bought my own car and am going back to school soon. I am overall more positive and don’t have obsessive thoughts any longer, don’t overthink, I rarely get depressed, and my anxiety is non-existent really.
I do sometimes get depressed but it’s not bad at all- not even close to how it used to be, and it’s also incredibly rare (I usually get a bit depressed during menses). When I do get depressed I now know how to control my thoughts and how to dismiss intrusive thoughts when I am overthinking. I can make myself feel better and distract myself.
I’ve really done my best to make myself a better person. Therapy and meds really have helped as well.
22-25, F
