My life has been so much struggling nonstop after getting married

Because of lockdown I had to change three job, debts of inlaws, expectations from other. I am in the verge that I will want to finish myself but I cant do that also because my own parents and siblings will be devastated if I do so. My employer might get another employee, my husband might get another wife and my inlaws might get another daughter in law but my parents and my siblings will not get their loving daughter and loving sister if I will be gone so I cant just finish myself but many times I think of finishing myself.