I can't for the life of me attend my ex's wedding

Please go and make a drunken unrehearsed speech

They just want as many presents as they can get.

You can get back at them by marrying me?

It's okay doc, some day i will attend your wedding.
Hopefully i am not the bridegroom 🤭
🏃

Just go for the free meal + alcohol 😌

But, but, you'd be making me sad if you do..,

Have positive thoughts for them and forget.

Send them dead flowers.

👀☕️ have me go In your place with your invitation and really upset them.. 👀☕️ cuz ima talk to all their guests like I’m the ex, you, but I transitioned into a penis and had a lot of hormone therapy and plastic surgery.. 👀☕️ and ima be hella dramatic, THE. ENTIRE. TIME.

Well, Robin, you could instead tell Stella how often you slept with Ted 🤷‍♂️

They can't rub happiness in your grave if she's with him and you are not.. 😆 especially if you weren't happy being with him.. js

Yeah fuck em