So had a weird self esteem moment today

Was meeting up for a birthday thing outdoors, saw everyone, couldn't bring myself to walk over and just felt really upset like nobody would want me there. Which is obviously false but I felt so upset and bad, waited for my friend to turn up so I could walk up with them.

I think going to therapy has left things a bit raw for me, but at the same time I'm more glad that I'm getting to address it and not feel like that anymore.