The other day I was asked when was the last time I had prayed. My honest answer, greeted with shocked faces was "five minutes ago."

I have a theory, entirely made up in my own head... but then isn't everything made up in our heads? Like here we are on a floating rock, paying taxes. Y'know the trope.

But i digress. I remember reading somewhere many years ago that if you talk out loud to freinds & family who have passed away they can hear you. I liked that, it was comforting; not least because even the dead can't read my mind! Somewhere along the line i spliced that with the notion that every moment of our lives is happening at once & linear time is yet another thing we made up in our heads. So as possible as any other idea of heaven & earth is that i am currently both alive & dead, both being born & preparing to take my last breath, all in the blink of an eye. & maybe if I talk another version of myself will hear these words, perhaps in her subconscious, perhaps overriding the great many negitive thoughts that bombard our minds every waking moment.

Worth a shot, right? 🤷‍♀️

So I walked alone along Cranfield beach & I prayed; I talked to myself. I told eight year old me that it's okay, it wasnt her fault, & i told forty-three year old me, who will arrive next month, that it's okay, it's not her fault. We're only learning, all these versions of ourselves. We're all just making it up as we go along, & it's okay.