How do you handle awkward moments where something is going well for you and badly for someone else so you can’t commiserate like they’re hoping?

For the first time in my life aside from all this crazy health stuff everything is going great. However, this is not the case for many of my friends.
Empathetic and offering emotional support is easy, but they don’t just want empathy/support. They want to hear that everyone’s life also sucks, which normalized their predicaments and choices.

Ex: they hate their job, but you love your job. They have a terrible boyfriend/girlfriend, but you’re in a happy relationship. etc

When put in this position I normally downplay the good in my life or just don’t mention it because I don’t want make them feel worse.

I’m just wondering if there’s a better way?

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

AmbivalentFriability · 26-30

If empathy and support/encouragement isn't enough, that is something they need to work on themselves. I absolutely understand the need to just vent and let yourself feel what you feel, but I'm not going to let them make me feel guilty about my life going better than theirs, or give them a pity party if that's what they're really fishing for. Pity isn't empowering.

I usually try to focus on the other person when they're venting vs trying to relate it to my life anyway, which helps avoid that. I dunno if you can really avoid tension or awkwardness if their behaviour is the problem. I would feel inclined to change the subject or call them out on their behaviour if it seemed reasonable to do so.

This comment is hidden. Show Comment