How do you handle awkward moments where something is going well for you and badly for someone else so you can’t commiserate like they’re hoping?

For the first time in my life aside from all this crazy health stuff everything is going great. However, this is not the case for many of my friends.
Empathetic and offering emotional support is easy, but they don’t just want empathy/support. They want to hear that everyone’s life also sucks, which normalized their predicaments and choices.

Ex: they hate their job, but you love your job. They have a terrible boyfriend/girlfriend, but you’re in a happy relationship. etc

When put in this position I normally downplay the good in my life or just don’t mention it because I don’t want make them feel worse.

I’m just wondering if there’s a better way?

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

being · 36-40, F

Both situations are interchangeable really... i cannot give any advice because I find myself in similar troubling moments..that I can't say I'm handling with much grace...
What i say to myself is that if i were confident enough and stable enough in my goodness, I could go down for a bit to be with them. But since I'm struggling balancing myself and keeping me up, I can't afford to do that. Soon I'm dragged down for longer.
It is what it is, and it's very dynamic, relationships..be compassionate and give them time. Nothing lasts forever anyways, either the relationship will change or will drift apart..

WhateverWorks · 36-40

Yeah, you hit the nail on the head there. I find myself keeping these friends at an arms distance because it gets kind of exhausting in a fruitless sort of way and I really need that energy to manage my own full plate. I was trying to organize a game night with one of them and she kept having to reschedule then when she was finally free it happen to be on at night my partner isn’t here. Long story short, I found myself canceling. I said it was because there wouldn’t be enough players, but the truth is I didn’t want to be alone with her. I knew if she cane over when it was just me the game night would transpire into a ‘whoa is me’ night 😞 I feel a little bit like a jerk about it, but it gets old, tiring.. @being