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I've outlived myself

My 20-year-old daughter decided she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. She has told me a number of times that the 70s were 50 years ago and I need to become current with this generation, so she has rejected me. How could I possibly do that? I was born in a small rural mining community in 1963, where mom and dad went to church and the kids went to Sunday School every Sunday. Like most mining communities, mine was socially conservative. That's the socio-cultural world I was born into. During the Hippie Movement, many parents got into it -- the music, the fashion, the whole bit. Others didn't listen to Credence Clearwater Revival. My parents, for example, listened to Charlie Pride, Tom T. Hall, Jim Reeves, etc. I grew up with an entirely different set of values, principles, morals, and influences than this current generation. When you are born and raised into a religion, it just becomes a part of your inner-being, and these things are simply what define me. They are just what and who I am. Even if I was capable of re-programming myself, this generation is one that I just cannot understand no matter how hard I have tried. One by one, I saw the mines close down. The mills and smelters closed with them. The trains stopped running. People moved away; this was all in the late '60s and early '70s. I was influenced by those events. I was influenced by seeing the Vietnam War, the protests, the race riots, and the Charles Manson murders play out on the news. How do I, at 57 years old, simply stop in my tracks and undo everything that has influenced me, and became a part of me, to adopt a current generational culture that I am 37 years too old for? The mines are gone now. The mills are gone, the smelters are gone, the trains and the train tracks are gone. Most of the men I knew who worked at those jobs are gone now, along with the old culture, the old, European languages, as well as the polka and waltz music they, and we, all knew and enjoyed. I feel alone now. I feel isolated and separated, and I feel like I have outlived my time and myself. It just all seems surreal and hopeless now. It really does.
gfantasy · 56-60, M
Embracing the new doesn't imply ditching the old. You lived a life rich with experiences, good and bad. This doesn't mean you must reject what has not been part of your life until now. I enjoy classical music, rock and roll, electronica... The fact that experiences are different don't make them mutually exclusive. You can learn to understand and appreciate the current generations without ditching your former self.
SW-User
I understood my mother much better when I became a mother and walked a mile in her shoes.
Our children shouldn't be saying somethings they do or judging some ways they do.
I don't think us changing our whole ways of being and seeing things is possible. I'm not even sure I WANT to be current with how things are now.
Northguy1 · 56-60, M
@SW-User What I understand of this current generation, from what I have seen, I don't want it, either. I don't understand the earrings through the tongue, and through noses and eyebrows, and tattoos all over. I don't understand people wearing their hats backwards, and their conviction that they can be offended at anything somebody does, but people being offended at something they do or say is not to be tolerated. I don't understand the instant anger, disrespect and name calling and the intentional rude behavior. I don't want to be any of that.
Neoerectus · M
Her brain is still maturing. I grew and inch in height between 20 and 21. She is not yet fully cooked.

Every generation tries to carve a new niche. Some disparage those from before. This has gone on for thousands of years.
TeenAngel · F
She's probably still in the immature stage. She'll come around as she experiences some of what you've been through. I guarantee it.
Really · 80-89, M
@Northguy1, I assume you're mature enough not to pay any attention to SW guarantees about the future :). As for feeling you've outlived yourself, it can get worse. Wait till you're 20 years older.
I'm sorry to hear. That seems a bit harsh.
SatanBurger · 36-40, F
That's sad about your daughter, I always think that family is thicker than anything. I think the cut off for me is toxic behavior that is borderline abusive but never because of politics. Family is everything.

 
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