Moving on from a psychotic person

It’s hard because it gets lonley , I reminisce of the first interaction I had with my ex , I cry most times because I tried to protect myself and I ended up losing myself.I remember when I didn’t see the red flags , when I fell in love ; this pain is different, it hurts when he has told me he loves me ,but he won’t see why I can’t be with him behind the abuse, he thinks it’s something I can get over, he abused me for hours, where sometimes I didn’t eat and I’m pregnant, until I started throwing up he would order food for me.. I couldn’t leave the house and he would abuse me emotionally and physically, I been chocked almost to death , twice, embarrassed in public, pissed thrown at me, he burned my shoes and made me walk outside to get new ones since he threw all mine away, he’s tried to burn the house down by setting fire to cardboard around me , he burned my clothes and daughters clothes, he’s punched me in the face, grabbed me by hair, he would turn the lights off at night if we were arguing and grab a knife and tell me he would kill me, I could see the evil in his eyes, he’s dragged me around the house , locked me in the bathroom and choked me in the bathtub and kept me in a head lock while saying horrible things,kept me for long hours standing or sitting listening to him repeat , he would talk out loud and mention the things I was doing wrong, he was delusional at times, making up things to get more angry lord forgive me for even having any love for him, iv endured pain and pregnant. I put my child through this emotional pain in my body.lord why I put myself in a position to disrespect myself.. and the only reason I endured so much pain is because I had a fire escape he would climb on to get to my apartment. I didn’t want to leave to a shelter I had no family to turn to ,no money until god gave me a chance and I can say now I’m living somewhere he doesn’t know with my 2 kids and it’s a nice area , no fire escape , my apartment is good because after him destroying my things I got help from welfare , I still lost so much and I plan on taking him to court to sue him