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Is this rude or not?

My ex got upset once because I told him to sit down so I could talk to him. His attitude was how dare you ask me to sit down lol. I didn't know asking someone to sit down so we could talk would be offensive.
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My wife is same way .. its about avoiding the discussion as a means of control, getting her way
@Stillwaiting does it annoy you? Cause I didn't know it was annoying oops
@RadiantRuby No .. I meant she refuses to sit down and talk if I ask her to