The Day That Changed My Life Forever

This is my personal, true miracle testimony. I hope you like it.

I used to think the same as some of you. I thought there was a God, but couldn't seem to find him. I thought, surely there must be something I must DO to earn my way to heaven. I wanted to find Him for myself, not take anyone's word for it. So in an effort to find Him, I made my way to the front of my old church, to give my heart to Jesus...at least three times. Nothing happened. Nothing at all. I felt so sad and empty. I thought, "What am I missing?!! Where ARE you, God?!!" I was angry. I felt so alone, but I kept praying to find this "God" person. The more years that went by, the lonelier and sadder I got, until one day, I just didn't care anymore, and did something that ended me up in a place where there was no hope for me at all..and death was now eminent.

There was no way out this time, and I knew my life had come to an end. As my life began to slowly slip away, I felt so ashamed as I reflected on how I had let my life get this far out of hand, but I hadn't wanted anyone else to know how out of control it had gotten. Especially my family, so I kept it all to myself. I preferred to die, rather than let anyone know how far depression had taken me.

In my frame of mind BEFORE I reached this point, I knew no other alternatives. I felt I had no place to look for help, no one to turn to, and no one who cared, so here I was now... lying in bed in the dark, in my little trailer...when suddenly it occurred to me that I could look in the one place I had never looked before...and that was UP!

I WANTED to do better. Somehow, I just wanted to fix, and make up for all the mistakes I'd ever made. But how could that even be possible? It was too late now. And I was dying.

Before I closed my eyes for what I thought was the last time, it finally dawned on me, that I wasn't at ALL sure, whether I'd wake up in heaven, or I'd wake up in hell. Let me tell you...that is a VERY sobering thought, when you're looking at death square in the face! Sadly, I had not even PLANNED where I'd spend eternity, yet here I was, about to find out, and totally unprepared!!

I said this: "God? I don't know if you can hear me or not, but I'm about to die here, and I just now realized I'm not sure if I'll wake up in heaven or hell! I hope you'll forgive me and let me be in heaven with you when I die. I'm not even sure if you're listening to me, but if you are, I just want to say that I'm really sorry I messed up the life you gave me. I see now, my life was a gift from you to me, yet I selfishly wasted all those years, and I'm so sorry. I wish I could make them up to you. I would, if I could. I also want you to know that I love you with all my heart, and if you'll let me live, I'll prove it to you. I'll make up for all those years I wasted apart from you. I'll live for you and I'll tell everyone I know about you, your great love, and how much you love them. Please forgive me for all my sins. Thanks for listening to me. Thank you for loving me and forgiving my sins. In Jesus' name, Amen."

I didn't think another thing of it. I just knew I had said my peace, and God knew I meant it from my heart. I wasn't afraid to die anymore. God knew I wasn't playing. He knew I meant business. That being said, I peacefully closed my eyes and expected to die.

To my great surprise, I didn't die!! I woke up in the morning, so happy to be alive, that I got up and jumped around on my bed! I wasn't even sick anymore!!! Instead of dying, God had unbelievably heard my prayer!!! I still can't believe it!! He ACTUALLY heard MY prayer, and let me live! What had woke me up that morning, was the bright sunshine streaming from the window, into my eyes. I still feel overwhelmed by it, to this day! I threw back the tiny curtains even more, and what I saw next, I'll never forget! All the colors outside were like something you'd see in a cartoon or fairytale. So bright, bold, and twice as colorful as I had EVER seen them! I couldn't stop laughing, as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I really was ALIVE!!

Who am I that he would hear ME, all the way from heaven?!!! Nobody. But he did and I'm here to tell it. He didn't have to do that...but he did. He knew in my heart I meant what I said. I had no earthly idea, God would really hear me, or save me. I was simply saying my peace. And the truth of the matter is, it wasn't my words that saved me at all. It was my faith that he forgave me of my sins, and accepted my whole-hearted commitment to live for him. And I found out that's exactly why I never found him all those years. Our salvation isn't about feelings at all. It's about commitment. God doesn't want half a commitment...just as you wouldn't give someone you love, a half-hearted commitment...nor to be selfish and serve Him only on our terms. No. He wants our whole heart. That's what tells him we truly love him. So the key to salvation is total commitment. Would you want someone to love you half-heartedly? Of course not. That's not love.

I've kept my commitment to God, ever since that day He heard and answered my prayer on July 21, 1973, and I've never been sorry. My birthday may be on December 17th, but it's not nearly as important as my spiritual birth on July 21, 1973. Thats why they call it being "born again". That's the birthday I celebrate most, when I accepted Jesus as my personal Savior, for if it wasn't for Him, I wouldn't be alive to tell my story today. I am so grateful for that chance. I feel this way...if God could give me his personal best, how could I give Him less? So if I seem "fanatical", it's because of my personal encounter with the Living God of this universe, and I think anyone would feel the same, had they experienced what I did. And they can. Unbelievable? Oh, absolutely!! Yet at the same time...so true! A real miracle! And God is in the miracle business.

Each person is individual, therefore, each person's personal experience when they invite Jesus into their heart and life, will be especially suited for them and their needs, as Jesus knows what their needs are.

If you're looking for Jesus, you will find him when you seek him in truth, with all your heart and mind. He's only a prayer away. All I can say, is He's definitely worth it, and I'll serve Him until He calls me home. He saved me completely, and now I am truly free.