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I’ve never been great at spotting fake intentions

Sometimes it surprises me how long it takes me to work things out. I’m too trusting and honest I’m not great at spotting a facade.

I have a friend who I’ve known since we were about 15. We dated briefly in high school but life moved on from then. We used to chat about everything and even backpacked Europe together. His now wife never liked me at first, back when we were younger, I put it down to insecurity at the time. I made an effort to get to know her and I thought we moved past it.

Fast forward to when I had my daughter. She sent a gift and blanket she’d crocheted. She invited us to their wedding. It was small only two other friends there. Slowly she took over all communication with me. Any social events were organised through her.

Then it was her turn to announce her pregnancy and we met at a cafe for lunch and I gave her a baby gift. Somehow it came up she had her baby shower the weekend before. I briefly thought it was weird she didn’t invite me but I kind of moved on from it. The baby arrived I sent flowers, they shared pics and then Covid hit.

It’s been a draining 12 months for people so I’m not that offended if I don’t hear from friends regularly. But a few weeks ago it was my birthday and she sent a text so I thanked her and asked how they were. Her reply kind of stunned me, another baby had arrived a month ago. It was kind of a weird way to find out. I should mention they don’t use any social media.

But I guess now that I’ve processed it all maybe we weren’t friends. Seems like she tolerated me and did the done thing and obviously has my birthday in her diary so she can be seen to manage it all. Guess she is still the same controlling/insecure person.

I just think why bother. Life moves on and it’s okay to lose touch. This is kind of like a weird halfway point now, am I supposed to offer to see the baby? Send a gift? 🙄

I just can’t be bothered with fakery. I’m okay with being disliked
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JRVanguard · 26-30, M
You’re not really obliged to do either if they’ve been so cagey with you
If you want to keep in touch then go for it but if not then there’s no reason to bother going that extra mile
They certainly didn’t
@JRVanguard He was a good friend once but he never answers my calls when I've tried over the years. So I think it's time to just let it go. I have good friends I don't have time to see these days and those people deserve my energy more.
JRVanguard · 26-30, M
@Notladylike Yeah it sounds like they’re not worth your time
Sorry buddy💙