Empty inside

Have you ever felt empty. Void of emotion. Im not happy, im not sad, I just feel empty. I have no desire to do anything. I don’t care about anything. I think i love my family but I don’t know that I really do. I would never kill myself but I don’t know that I would care if I died. If someone were to tell me I’m a waste of skin I wouldn’t disagree but I also would not agree. I don’t think I would care if everyone left me. It wouldn’t make a difference. I don’t hate myself but I don’t care either. Someone told me i’m full of apathy. That’s probably true. I don’t know why. I’m not the person I was 10 years ago. Im an empty shell. I think I should keep going because thats what is expected of a person. I will smile and pretend like I have all the emotions a person is supposed to have. But I’m not sure if the emotions I used to have will ever come back. I feel like there is no way for them to come back. Emotions hurt more than they feel good. So now I’ve locked myself in an empty room and I might have left the key outside. Does that mean someone may be able to open the door to this room. I don’t know. Maybe the key is in a room of keys and it may take a lifetime to find the one that opens my empty room. Maybe sooner. I don’t really care. Whatever happens, happens.