DanniLe20 · 22-25, F
Never go into the cemetery late at night...It's a GRAVE mistake!!!

SW-User
@DanniLe20 lol 🤪
vetguy1991 · 51-55, M
There were two old guys discussing viagra, one was taking it the other one wasn't, the one that was taking it was telling the other one, "you'll really like it it helps with blood pressure energy level makes you feel 40 years younger " . The other one said "can you get it over the counter " , he said that takes 4 pills

SW-User
@vetguy1991 lol
ozgirl512 · 26-30, F
For you ....
A man and his wife are dining at a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table. Noticing this, his wife asks, ''Do you know her?''
''Yes,'' sighs the husband. ''She’s my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.''
''Goodness gracious!'' says the wife. ''Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?''
A man and his wife are dining at a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table. Noticing this, his wife asks, ''Do you know her?''
''Yes,'' sighs the husband. ''She’s my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.''
''Goodness gracious!'' says the wife. ''Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?''

SW-User
@ozgirl512 lol, that was a good one!!
ozgirl512 · 26-30, F
@SW-User like all good humour, it please you down one party only to realise you're somewhere else lol... Glad you enjoyed 🤗
JohnOinger · 41-45, M
@SW-User So what do you think of Ben Dahlhau & Would You Do Him
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JohnOinger · 41-45, M
@SW-User hot & he'll yes

SW-User
@JohnOinger yes!
JohnOinger · 41-45, M
@SW-User Nice
TheOneyouwerewarnedabout · 46-50, MVIP
I light of today’s historic peace agreement in which I support 100%👌
The Israeli Ambassador at the U.N. began, "Ladies and gentlemen before I commence with my speech, I want to relay an old Passover story.
"When Moses was leading the Jews out of Egypt toward the Promised Land, he had to go through the nearly endless Sinai desert.
"When they reached the Promised Land, the people had become very thirsty and needed water. So Moses struck the side of a mountain with his staff and a pond appeared with crystal clean, cool water. The people rejoiced and drank to their hearts' content.
"Moses put down his staff and went to a solitary corner of the pond to drink, and meditate in prayer. But once Moses returned, he found that his staff had been stolen.
"I have reason to believe ladies and gentlemen that the Palestinians stole the staff of our great Prophet Moses.'"
The Palestinian delegate to the UN, hearing this accusation, jumps from his seat and screams out, "This is a travesty. It is widely known that there were no such thing as 'Palestinians' at that time!"
"And with that in mind," said the Israeli Ambassador, "let me now begin my speech."
The Israeli Ambassador at the U.N. began, "Ladies and gentlemen before I commence with my speech, I want to relay an old Passover story.
"When Moses was leading the Jews out of Egypt toward the Promised Land, he had to go through the nearly endless Sinai desert.
"When they reached the Promised Land, the people had become very thirsty and needed water. So Moses struck the side of a mountain with his staff and a pond appeared with crystal clean, cool water. The people rejoiced and drank to their hearts' content.
"Moses put down his staff and went to a solitary corner of the pond to drink, and meditate in prayer. But once Moses returned, he found that his staff had been stolen.
"I have reason to believe ladies and gentlemen that the Palestinians stole the staff of our great Prophet Moses.'"
The Palestinian delegate to the UN, hearing this accusation, jumps from his seat and screams out, "This is a travesty. It is widely known that there were no such thing as 'Palestinians' at that time!"
"And with that in mind," said the Israeli Ambassador, "let me now begin my speech."

SW-User
@TheOneyouwerewarnedabout so i feel like this is more of a history lesson than a joke, but thank you for sharing....
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@waleskinder lol, half way through i didn't think i was going to get it, but it was funny :)
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
I entered ten puns in a competition recently hoping one might win....
But no pun in ten did.
What is the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a scruffy looking man on a Unicycle ?......
Attire.
Somebody stole my Microsoft Office ! Somebody's going to pay !!
You have my Word !
Last week i lost my mood ring !
.....Not sure how i feel about it.
On a first date, would a Biologist wear designer genes ?
But no pun in ten did.
What is the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a scruffy looking man on a Unicycle ?......
Attire.
Somebody stole my Microsoft Office ! Somebody's going to pay !!
You have my Word !
Last week i lost my mood ring !
.....Not sure how i feel about it.
On a first date, would a Biologist wear designer genes ?

SW-User
@Picklebobble2 i enjoyed all of those :)
ticklerguy · M

ozgirl512 · 26-30, F


SW-User
@ozgirl512 lmao, that is great! but at first i was like "slug bug"
ozgirl512 · 26-30, F
@SW-User thank you 😘
Fur me, often the best humour is hidden in plain sight, something to be discovered ;)
Fur me, often the best humour is hidden in plain sight, something to be discovered ;)
texasdaddydom · 56-60, M
holds up a mirror t o you
texasdaddydom · 56-60, M
did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? they both got six months. ba dum tis
texasdaddydom · 56-60, M
@SW-User blue paint duh

SW-User
texasdaddydom · 56-60, M
@SW-User do you know why they put fences around cemeteries? people are dying to get in.
my home town has a cemetery but if you live there you can't be buried there want to know why? cause you need to die first.
my home town has a cemetery but if you live there you can't be buried there want to know why? cause you need to die first.
XDHyperGirlXD1 · 31-35, F
i only know dirty jokes lol XD
XDHyperGirlXD1 · 31-35, F
@SW-User i edit it lol XD look again XD

SW-User
@XDHyperGirlXD1 thats a good one
XDHyperGirlXD1 · 31-35, F
@SW-User look at the one i sent to ur pms lol XD
What lies, twists, turns and lies again?

SW-User
@ChrissyPooh what?
@SW-User a politician. Oh wait, that wasnt a joke, maybe not even good, might be true though 🤔

SW-User
@ChrissyPooh i agree about that not being a joke lol jk, i got it
NaughtyPickle · M
How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb ?

SW-User
@NaughtyPickle lol, how many?
NaughtyPickle · M
Wanna go bike riding ??@SW-User

SW-User
@NaughtyPickle lol, i thought that was going there
candycane · 36-40, F
Two gay guys go into a pet store what pets do they aquire?
A cockortwo
Lol
A cockortwo
Lol
TheOneyouwerewarnedabout · 46-50, MVIP
@candycane what do gay horses eat?
Haaaaaay
Haaaaaay

SW-User
@candycane lol that one got a good chuckle out of me

SW-User
@TheOneyouwerewarnedabout lmao