DanniLe20 · 22-25, F
Never go into the cemetery late at night...It's a GRAVE mistake!!!
vetguy1991 · 51-55, M
There were two old guys discussing viagra, one was taking it the other one wasn't, the one that was taking it was telling the other one, "you'll really like it it helps with blood pressure energy level makes you feel 40 years younger " . The other one said "can you get it over the counter " , he said that takes 4 pills
SW-User
@vetguy1991 lol
ozgirl512 · 26-30, F
For you ....
A man and his wife are dining at a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table. Noticing this, his wife asks, ''Do you know her?''
''Yes,'' sighs the husband. ''She’s my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.''
''Goodness gracious!'' says the wife. ''Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?''
A man and his wife are dining at a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table. Noticing this, his wife asks, ''Do you know her?''
''Yes,'' sighs the husband. ''She’s my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.''
''Goodness gracious!'' says the wife. ''Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?''
JohnOinger · 41-45, M
@SW-User So what do you think of Ben Dahlhau & Would You Do Him
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TheOneyouwerewarnedabout · 46-50, MVIP
I light of today’s historic peace agreement in which I support 100%👌
The Israeli Ambassador at the U.N. began, "Ladies and gentlemen before I commence with my speech, I want to relay an old Passover story.
"When Moses was leading the Jews out of Egypt toward the Promised Land, he had to go through the nearly endless Sinai desert.
"When they reached the Promised Land, the people had become very thirsty and needed water. So Moses struck the side of a mountain with his staff and a pond appeared with crystal clean, cool water. The people rejoiced and drank to their hearts' content.
"Moses put down his staff and went to a solitary corner of the pond to drink, and meditate in prayer. But once Moses returned, he found that his staff had been stolen.
"I have reason to believe ladies and gentlemen that the Palestinians stole the staff of our great Prophet Moses.'"
The Palestinian delegate to the UN, hearing this accusation, jumps from his seat and screams out, "This is a travesty. It is widely known that there were no such thing as 'Palestinians' at that time!"
"And with that in mind," said the Israeli Ambassador, "let me now begin my speech."
The Israeli Ambassador at the U.N. began, "Ladies and gentlemen before I commence with my speech, I want to relay an old Passover story.
"When Moses was leading the Jews out of Egypt toward the Promised Land, he had to go through the nearly endless Sinai desert.
"When they reached the Promised Land, the people had become very thirsty and needed water. So Moses struck the side of a mountain with his staff and a pond appeared with crystal clean, cool water. The people rejoiced and drank to their hearts' content.
"Moses put down his staff and went to a solitary corner of the pond to drink, and meditate in prayer. But once Moses returned, he found that his staff had been stolen.
"I have reason to believe ladies and gentlemen that the Palestinians stole the staff of our great Prophet Moses.'"
The Palestinian delegate to the UN, hearing this accusation, jumps from his seat and screams out, "This is a travesty. It is widely known that there were no such thing as 'Palestinians' at that time!"
"And with that in mind," said the Israeli Ambassador, "let me now begin my speech."
SW-User
@TheOneyouwerewarnedabout so i feel like this is more of a history lesson than a joke, but thank you for sharing....
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SW-User
@waleskinder lol, half way through i didn't think i was going to get it, but it was funny :)
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
I entered ten puns in a competition recently hoping one might win....
But no pun in ten did.
What is the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a scruffy looking man on a Unicycle ?......
Attire.
Somebody stole my Microsoft Office ! Somebody's going to pay !!
You have my Word !
Last week i lost my mood ring !
.....Not sure how i feel about it.
On a first date, would a Biologist wear designer genes ?
But no pun in ten did.
What is the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a scruffy looking man on a Unicycle ?......
Attire.
Somebody stole my Microsoft Office ! Somebody's going to pay !!
You have my Word !
Last week i lost my mood ring !
.....Not sure how i feel about it.
On a first date, would a Biologist wear designer genes ?
SW-User
@Picklebobble2 i enjoyed all of those :)
ticklerguy · M
ozgirl512 · 26-30, F
texasdaddydom · 56-60, M
holds up a mirror t o you
texasdaddydom · 56-60, M
did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? they both got six months. ba dum tis
XDHyperGirlXD1 · 31-35, F
i only know dirty jokes lol XD
XDHyperGirlXD1 · 31-35, F
@SW-User i edit it lol XD look again XD
SW-User
@XDHyperGirlXD1 thats a good one
XDHyperGirlXD1 · 31-35, F
What lies, twists, turns and lies again?
SW-User
@ChrissyPooh what?
@SW-User a politician. Oh wait, that wasnt a joke, maybe not even good, might be true though 🤔
SW-User
@ChrissyPooh i agree about that not being a joke lol jk, i got it
NaughtyPickle · M
How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb ?
SW-User
@NaughtyPickle lol, how many?
NaughtyPickle · M
Wanna go bike riding ??@SW-User
SW-User
@NaughtyPickle lol, i thought that was going there
candycane · 36-40, F
Two gay guys go into a pet store what pets do they aquire?
A cockortwo
Lol
A cockortwo
Lol