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Always been a fighter and a coward.

Between everything going on at home right now, feeling lonesome and broken up, she had to tell me she has heart problems. Nobody can afford her surgery, meds, tests and all...I just don't know what to do. People say I should leave my "home" but I'll end up homeless, definitely disowned by my family, I want to save as much as I can on my own so she can have a fighting chance to live her life, but...it's a lot to carry. Idk just need a huge ass miracle to sort this shit out.
I don't want to give up, want to fight for my mission but holy hell it's so easy to fall into the groove of how miserable life is right now.
XReaganX
26-30, F
22 replies 15 views May 20, 2020
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DarkHeaven 路
馃枻馃
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 20, 2020
XReaganX 路 26-30, F
@DarkHeaven hey how's it going? I saw you went dark. 馃馃槙
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 20, 2020
DarkHeaven 路
@XReaganX My usual mess. I鈥檓 just a weirdo. lol
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 20, 2020
XReaganX 路 26-30, F
@DarkHeaven not just a weirdo! 馃槫 MY WEIRDO 馃槤
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 20, 2020
DarkHeaven 路
@XReaganX I been playing country for like a week too. 馃槵 *hides my head in shame*
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 20, 2020
XReaganX 路 26-30, F
@DarkHeaven oh my-- *sun explodes and an alternate universe collides with this one*
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 20, 2020
DarkHeaven 路
@XReaganX Go check like my last thirty post or so.
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 20, 2020
XReaganX 路 26-30, F
@DarkHeaven oh I saw lol
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 20, 2020
DarkHeaven 路
@XReaganX To be fair, I was raised on a farm riding horses.
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 20, 2020
XReaganX 路 26-30, F
@DarkHeaven trueeee so it's not THAT bad lol
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 21, 2020
DarkHeaven 路
@XReaganX You would have loved the farm. I would have taken you on a horse ride. You鈥檇 have loved it.
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 21, 2020
XReaganX 路 26-30, F
@DarkHeaven Yeah, I think I would've.
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 21, 2020
DarkHeaven 路
@XReaganX We had a big pond that was just barely too small to call a lake that we鈥檇 swim in during the summers. Lots of good times. My parents ranch is just over 400 acres so it鈥檚 really pretty big. Lots of space.
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 21, 2020
XReaganX 路 26-30, F
@DarkHeaven Damn. You had it made. :)
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 21, 2020
DarkHeaven 路
@XReaganX I鈥檓 telling you. I led a charmed life until my onset of mental illness. An ideal childhood and a great life and career up until then. Sure I had sad things happen like when my best friend killed herself, when I found out I can鈥檛 carry a child, or when I lost my girlfriend to drugs but even all that sad stuff I could always handle because I was mentally and emotionally strong. I never knew what it was like to have life utterly fucking crush you until suddenly I couldn鈥檛 even breathe at all.
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 21, 2020 路 Edited: 4 yrs ago
XReaganX 路 26-30, F
@DarkHeaven Yeah, I feel you 馃
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 21, 2020
DarkHeaven 路
@XReaganX 馃枻馃
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 21, 2020
DarkHeaven 路
@XReaganX I was always kind... but I鈥檓 not sure I truly understood compassion until after all this.
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 21, 2020
XReaganX 路 26-30, F
@DarkHeaven well, either way, you truly have a huge heart
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 21, 2020
DarkHeaven 路
@XReaganX And I鈥檓 all leg. lol

+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 21, 2020
XReaganX 路 26-30, F
@DarkHeaven lmaooooo omg this has been going on forever. 馃槤
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 May 21, 2020