I get it ...

I used to think I was just a regular person, but I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist.


I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards makes me a fascist.



I am heterosexual, which now makes me a homophobe.



I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the mainstream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary.



I am proud of my heritage, which makes me a xenophobe.



I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.



I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.



I believe in the defense and protection of my country and I honor those who serve in the Armed Forces, which now makes me a right-wing militant.



Please help me come to terms with the new me; because I'm just not sure who I am anymore!



Funny that it's all just taken place over the last couple of years! As if all of this nonsense wasn’t enough to deal with, now I’m not even sure which toilet to use!