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Very angry with ex nanny

She has worked with us for 4 years. Last year my husband and I separated and so she worked in between mine and ex's home.
I told her a few weeks ago that I was moving house. She doesn't drive so I asked about her thoughts on it all and what we should do. She mentioned extra time and expenses and then said she wished I had told her sooner so she could plan for the new school term. She then said she could only now work for my ex.
I told my child that she had chosen not to work for me anymore. Last night I got a text from her saying she had corrected my son and told him the reason why was because I wasn't paying extra time and costs. I told her I was not happy with this as at no point had I said I wouldn't pay. She said 'You never mentioned that you would pay them once. If you wanted me to work for you still, that's the first thing you would have done. I feel hurt and disappointed at how this has been handled.'

I am very angry. What should I say in return?
You can say pretty much whatever you choose, but it won’t make any difference.

If you still want her to work for you, text her and tell her if she comes up with a reasonable amount for time and expenses (and you can afford it), you’ll work something out - but if she has an issue with you, it is you she should work it out with, never again with your son.

It sounds to me like she doesn’t understand where [b]she[/b] and her personal concerns stop and her duties as a caregiver for your son start. She essentially told him you’re a liar - I’m not sure I’d want her back. Certainly until she acknowledged honestly her behavior was unacceptable.
@Jenni855 Then she really does not understand what she did and if you have another tiff, she’ll do it again.

If she was angry she should have contacted you, not undermined you with him.
Jenni855 · 36-40, F
@Mamapolo2016 Agreed but she said it was because she wanted him to know that it wasn't because she didn't want to look after him. 😐
@Jenni855 What [b]should have[/b] happened was that she should have contacted you and said “Maybe I misunderstood what happened in our conversation. Your son told me x and I thought it was y. Can we still work this out?”

For me, my son’s babysitter telling him I lied to him would be unacceptable.

However, you may not want to burn bridges. As angry as you rightly are, there may come a day when you need her.
curiosi · 61-69, F
You should say "Thank You", your son is very loved by this nanny which is why she felt the need to correct it. She let him know that it is definitely NOT him.
Jenni855 · 36-40, F
@HootyTheNightOwl Thank you.
Jenni855 · 36-40, F
@curiosi Wow. No explanation just an insult.
@curiosi That's irrelevant - doesn't change the fact that Nanny crossed the line.
Apologize for the misunderstanding and explain to her what you are willing to pay her ... if she chooses to nanny for you too. To me, in the long run, it would be better to be on good terms with her than to be right. If that makes sense?

It's tricky 🙂
SW-User
Nothing personal it's just business. Find another nanny for your side and your ex can work with her.
Fungirlvape · 61-69, F
She might bag your ex you know
Jenni855 · 36-40, F
@Fungirlvape Shes welcome to him.

 
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