who do you miss? who misses you? who do you wish missed you? who do you not miss at all?

@Anonymartyr sorry it played out that way.

@stound It made me different and there is no place for me in this world since I cannot fit in with people who had families. But I am a strong man even for a cripple. I fight for the poor and homeless in my community (with some small success) and my past gives me the edge for this.

@Anonymartyr always good to do the best you can.

@stound Every fall and hardship is a learning experience if you allow it to be and the best healing is to take these negatives and make something positive out of them. Adaptation is key to survival.

@Anonymartyr yeah. the obstacle is the way and all.
I just want something to be easy for a while.

@stound nothing worthwhile comes easy. There is nothing wrong with taking a break or time-out either. I did not choose to be born into that family and would not wish it on my worst enemies and was left with no choice but to adjust or die. Four times in my life I was completely convinced that I was better off dead. Now I realize that death is certain for all, so now I look at life like a shift at work and give my job my all and take my rest in death when it comes. My goal is contentment now because I learned that there is no possibility of happiness for me in this world, I am not allowed because of nepotism.

@Anonymartyr hrm. that sounds difficult.

@stound I still have nightmares frequently and the experience crippled me throughout all my bones. It is not easy. But I cannot change the past nor can I change the majority so that I can feel some relief. I was dealt a terrible hand in this poker game and the rules do not allow for any discarding and drawing of cards. All I can do is play with what I have and hope to break even, folding is losing more than I intended to gamble.

@Anonymartyr sounds like you're soldiering on well.

@stound Being stubborn can be an asset, rarely. But like I said, the same qualities that allowed me to survive also prevents me from healthier friendships and relationships. I am unable to relate to things like family the way others do and that puts most people off. Most entertainments do not apply to me either.