Maybe it was me all along?

Maybe I'm just getting exactly what I deserve for all the burdens I put on others. I never really contribute anything, all I am is just the idiot that stands at the door and hands out pamphlets he doesn't even believe. When I do show my true self all it does is complicate things for the people I love most by showing it to those who don't even necessarily deserve it. I wish I could do more than just complicate and ruin things, but it seems to be all I can ever really do.