Can you change a narcissist

@MushroomFaerie well said!

@MushroomFaerie That's a little cold, don't you think?

@SW-User no

@SW-User You sound like you've never experienced a narc before. They don't feel empathy for other people and get their "supply" from manipulating others around them especially sensitive people.

@zeeva70 exactly, my abusive narc mother loves it when people think iam the bad guy and that I'm full of shit while I spend the rest of my life picking up the broken pieces of myself 👍

@SW-User they take credit for your achievements and do not want to be proud of another unless they're going to get affirmation back. They are so manipulative. They know how to rewire your brain in thinking they are the nicest people. They are so hurtful.. But it's never their fault!

@MushroomFaerie Right. They're goal is to destroy you so you'll always be around for them to control.

@SW-User these are the facts of being children of narcissism.

@Dusty101 @MushroomFaerie I had one hell of an experience with my ex partner and she never felt empathy, and believe it or not she fell for me when I was vulnerable, and dragged me back with her when I was feeling even moreso vulnrerable she saw that “coming to my rescue” as a good opportunity to manipulate me into loving her, She would treat me like shit and when I catch her out on it it’s always my fault and she was always hot and cold, turn away every time I would go to kiss her and cuddle her till I got too frustrated to care and then she would say why wouldn’t you kiss me? Or hug me?, all her head games used to dumb my brain down, and her knit picking about how I should look, ridicule anything I believe in.
I’m still trying to heal all the wounds of my self esteem issues from that relationship I was lucky to get away from.

@SW-User you were very smart to come to terms what she was doing. My mum lasted 10 years with my dad before he was asked to leave by the courts.
I'm really proud of you.
I'm so glad you realised what a manipulative wagon she is. And if you ever see her give her a flick in the face from me! 😁

I couldn’t hit a girl lol but I can [b]flick[/b] a booger in her face 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@Dusty101 I can write a book! In fact, I used EP to vent. It helped me emerge from my dark place with my mother and golden child brother.

@zeeva70 I'd say it's a great read.
I joined here through the grief of losing my older brother and my father.
It has helped me so much!
I admire you!
I'd say a mother is worse.

"Will I Ever be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers" by Karyn McBride was a tremendous help. I also found a FB support group of women like me. I feel so much better! No words to describe the freedom and love I now feel. @Dusty101

@zeeva70 yeah I read that one 👍. Grieving the loss of the mother you never had was a good one

@Dusty101 Yes, but I'm really not that quick to judge a person they may be narcissistic, I've been told by others I am even after having to tell them my ex's father's is dying from cancer. I know why, they would measuring how I was supposed to feel, and I failed.

@MushroomFaerie Yes. After years of searching, it was healing for me to learn there was name to what I was experiencing and that I was hardly alone.

@zeeva70 I might just order that!
Good chatting with you!
This is so helpful.

@Dusty101 If only my situation was that. I know I've been told by some I'm narcissistic. Why I can't handle the closeness, my ex, I left, guilt and grief, while her father dies from Stage 4 lung cancer. I really have tried being a friend, but I have to accept in this life that's not always how this world works.

@zeeva70 yeah, its good to know what your dealing with, especially because of the severe gaslighting making you think your crazy and worthless.
Unfortunately it can take the rest of your life to heal.
My mother has ruined so many aspects of who iam its ridiculous

@SW-User well if you feel you are some what narcissistic try and think how it affects others.
Your ex probably wants no one's help at the minute.

ahhh...when I am only looking after words they express, makes me?

@Dusty101 unfortunately narcissists don't care how they effect other people

@MushroomFaerie Yes, healing can take a lifetime. I'm doing my best to "mother" my daughter. It's different from how I was raised. She knows she's unconditionally loved. I'm learning to be the mother [to myself] that I never had. Day by day.

@MushroomFaerie @Dusty101 They have to insert themselves front and center every single time.