How does it feel to forget?

I’ve been away from home (in a different country) for about 5 years; sometimes unwillingly.

I might get a chance to go for a visit this Christmas. I should be ecstatic at the thought. I am not :(
In fact I can’t seem to feel anything.

I don’t even know if i wanna visit anymore or not.

I wanna feel excited about it but can’t.

Anyone with the same experience?
Is this normal?