What was going through your head when your own thoughts scared you?

^ years ago, I was going through a really tough time in my life, things pilled on top of one another and it was getting too much for me to handle. So much so that I contempliated ending my own life. It was a dark day. It felt like all of the colour in the world had gone. Fortunately, I did not. I got help shortly after that, and I'm very happy that I am still here, but I can never escape how I felt the day. Those thoughts will always haunt me and it scares me.

Chaos. It feels so conflicted that you somehow know it might be not true yet you can't stop it from swallowing you.