My father is 88 yo, almost incontinent and can barely walk so is almost housebound. He told me today he no longer wants to live. Any advice?
61-69, M
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Carla1951 · 70-79, F
I would right away make an appointment with his Doctor.
I cannot advise what the Doctor can tell you or offer your father. However there are resources. Perhaps considering a nursing facility for him. Fact is he needs 24 hour care. Medicare covers the cost of most centers. You might just take a lone visit to a facility near you. Mr. Average, Your Father fears being a burden to you and your family. He is well aware of the burdens he has placed on you. I am not suggesting an anti depressant; That would be for his doctor to say.
Just know that even if he accepts to go into a nursing facility, It's not permanent! However, an afternoon visit might be what he needs, at least for now. The activities they have can be amazing.
Often Schools will come to a nursing facility to Sing songs or even present few stages of a PLAY. A nursing facility is NEVER permanent. I would often take my mother out with a wheel chair and we'd go to a close department store.
Just know they are NOT locked in! They can still go home. Attend their Church, Just be sure to let the facility know you are taking your family member for a days outing.
I cannot advise what the Doctor can tell you or offer your father. However there are resources. Perhaps considering a nursing facility for him. Fact is he needs 24 hour care. Medicare covers the cost of most centers. You might just take a lone visit to a facility near you. Mr. Average, Your Father fears being a burden to you and your family. He is well aware of the burdens he has placed on you. I am not suggesting an anti depressant; That would be for his doctor to say.
Just know that even if he accepts to go into a nursing facility, It's not permanent! However, an afternoon visit might be what he needs, at least for now. The activities they have can be amazing.
Often Schools will come to a nursing facility to Sing songs or even present few stages of a PLAY. A nursing facility is NEVER permanent. I would often take my mother out with a wheel chair and we'd go to a close department store.
Just know they are NOT locked in! They can still go home. Attend their Church, Just be sure to let the facility know you are taking your family member for a days outing.
MrAverage1965 · 61-69, M
@Carla1951 hi thanks for taking the time to reply. My father has carers calling in to dress him in the morning and make sure he has dinner in the evening. He has regular doctors appointments but flatly refused to even go to a day care centre to have some company.
Carla1951 · 70-79, F
Your first stop is his doctor. He NEEDS a caregiver to be there for him most if not ALL times.
It's going to be too much for you to handle alone. Still I would take a pre known stop at a care facility with a prefis on informiming them you want to bring him by to have a look around. Perhaps stop by one yourself. As I said earlier, They often have activities for these seniors... AND YOU need a break. He might even make a Girl Friend.
You cannot do this alone. You need that occasional break to be with your family.
This is a fight. Don't let it be a battle! My heart is with you.
It's going to be too much for you to handle alone. Still I would take a pre known stop at a care facility with a prefis on informiming them you want to bring him by to have a look around. Perhaps stop by one yourself. As I said earlier, They often have activities for these seniors... AND YOU need a break. He might even make a Girl Friend.
You cannot do this alone. You need that occasional break to be with your family.
This is a fight. Don't let it be a battle! My heart is with you.