I have never been the one to talk about how I feel or felt really

Since I was a kid I took everything I went through kinda personal I guess and deep. Eventually I just wanted to leave everything and live my entire live in the wilderness. I traveled all over the place as a homeless young adult and yeah, even though I didn't want anything and was willing to give everything up I still suffered quite greatly. Most of my best times were completely alone. Idk what the future holds for me. I am not scared to die as I have contemplated suicide probably a lot more then anyone else. 😔

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windinhishair · 61-69, M

Certainly in your travels you must have come across places or people you found joy in. Perhaps those are clues to your future.

You have already discovered something very valuable. Our society doesn't understand the difference between alone and lonely. You do, because you had good times when you were alone. I worked a high stress job, but when I would take time off and go backpacking, I was often alone, but never lonely. The beauty of nature took care of that, and living lightly with only what I could carry on my back. That's a good place for you to start looking ahead to the joy of the future.