This profile may contain Mildly Adult content.
41-45, M
HOTWIFING, SWINGING
About Me About Me
Currently a single and (very) straight male. One thing I know from experience, no matter what one puts as a 'no go' preferences on a profile, very little attention gets paid to it, so I shall keep it short for now and explain later! :-)
One thing that may save us all some time... I am not interested in women under the age of 35 or 6' or the equivalent of about 1.8m (but then again.. who reads the profiles).
..Open your legs, open your mind.. Leave those compliments well behind.. Dig a little deeper into yourself..
1. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would
have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it)
2. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough
gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it)
3. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
(In my next life I want to be a pig)
(How'd they figure this out, and why?)
4. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Still can't get over that pig thing)
(Don't try [removed] at work?)
5. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
(And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)
6. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmmmmm........)
7. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer
than left-handed people do.
(I am ambidextrous.. do I split the difference or do I benefit double?)
8. The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its
own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of...?)
(Did taxpayers pay for this research??)
9. Polar bears are left handed.
(Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out, did they ask them?)
10. The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)
11. The flea can jump 350 times its body length.
It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes...can you imagine?? And why pigs?)
12. A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death.
(Creepy)
13. The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body.
The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the....)
(Well, at least pigs get a break there...)
14. Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(In my next life I still want to be a pig ... quality over quantity)
15. Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Oh, Geez) (That's almost as bad as catfish)
16. An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
(I know some people like that.)
17. Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
Please talk to me about that pig story.. Why.. oooooooh WHY!?
One thing that may save us all some time... I am not interested in women under the age of 35 or 6' or the equivalent of about 1.8m (but then again.. who reads the profiles).
..Open your legs, open your mind.. Leave those compliments well behind.. Dig a little deeper into yourself..
1. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would
have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it)
2. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough
gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it)
3. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
(In my next life I want to be a pig)
(How'd they figure this out, and why?)
4. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Still can't get over that pig thing)
(Don't try [removed] at work?)
5. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
(And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)
6. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmmmmm........)
7. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer
than left-handed people do.
(I am ambidextrous.. do I split the difference or do I benefit double?)
8. The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its
own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of...?)
(Did taxpayers pay for this research??)
9. Polar bears are left handed.
(Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out, did they ask them?)
10. The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)
11. The flea can jump 350 times its body length.
It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes...can you imagine?? And why pigs?)
12. A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death.
(Creepy)
13. The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body.
The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the....)
(Well, at least pigs get a break there...)
14. Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(In my next life I still want to be a pig ... quality over quantity)
15. Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Oh, Geez) (That's almost as bad as catfish)
16. An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
(I know some people like that.)
17. Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
Please talk to me about that pig story.. Why.. oooooooh WHY!?