I Can Not Stand Child Abuse

I have a really bad relationship with my dad. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail but he will often shout horrible things to me and my mum and he will lash out at us as well (pushing and hittjng) it's hard because I wish I could get along with him as he is a family member but at the same time I don't want to be near him and I have just seen him as a bad person recently. He had a heart attack around Christmas time which was awful to witness and obviously I'm always going to be connected to him in some way even though I constantly feel like I hate him I don't want anything bad to happen to him. However he now constantly uses his heart attack against us as if he blames us for it in the first place. Whenever he gets angry he will shout that we are going to give him another hearattack ( his heart attack was actually due to over eating and lack of activity) . I sometimes wish I could leave but my mum told me that we can't afford a house of our own based on what she earns. I didn't think this post would be so long but it feels better to let out what's been on my mind recently. ( the last time I said one word to him was Monday and we live under the same roof )

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

updown2020 · 61-69, M

Well how old are you can you find work? Oh sorry I should of said this from the beginning you are responsible for any thing that happens to your dad his health issues is just that his health issues yes he is your dad but that's just a title that is given and is to be earned respect goes both ways.

Idc101 · 22-25, F

@updown2020 I am actually 16 or will be 16 soon so there isn't a lot of work that could actually contribute a lot to kt. I try to stand up to him because I think he is very disrespectful to us and it hurts to see my other friends have dad's that aren't like him and they get along with them

updown2020 · 61-69, M

@Idc101 Well yes you are right at 16 well you should be in school not earning a living. The question is does your mom really want to leave because if she does well anywhere you live is better in that house. Is there no other family you can stay with?

Idc101 · 22-25, F

@updown2020 it's hard because I'm in school currently and going to be taking my GCSES soon , my mum actually wants to leave more than me as she was always the one to say maybe we should go , I used to say no I can't go because dad told me one time when we were about to leave that if I went with mum I wouldn't see him again. Only my aunty lives nearby and I'm not sure if we would be able to live there forever

updown2020 · 61-69, M

@Idc101 Well nobody says you have to stay there forever and never mind what you dad says he will try anything to get you to stay but at the end nothing will change. This will keep going around and round in circles and getting nowhere just driving you nuts and not good for your sanity or self esteem. Just remember if you accept this from your dad will maybe later on in life this will come up again with a friend or boyfriend and you would not want to relive that. Yes I know easier said than done so try to spend as little time at home as possible and when you do go home will help and talk to your mom be nice and polite to your dad but that's it. Maybe it's your dad that needs help.

Idc101 · 22-25, F

@updown2020 thank you for the advice , I find it hard to stand up to blunt people also and my self esteem is very low currently , I just wish things were different

updown2020 · 61-69, M

@Idc101 Well maybe take you mom out for a walk get some fresh air find something to do like a small part time job so you are not home as much. What are your friends doing?

Idc101 · 22-25, F

@updown2020 my friends don't have jobs but when I am at their house I see how much better the environment is in their family

updown2020 · 61-69, M

@Idc101 So speed time with your friends go out and have fun.

Idc101 · 22-25, F

@updown2020 this is good advice I try to as much as possible