Isn’t this being downright diminishing towards kids?

Why do people use quotation marks when they talk about their kids sometimes. For example one might say that there four year old daughter “helped“ with a certain activity. Or, I rough House with my friends, but I “ rough house“ with my 7 year old. Or, my friend beat me in an arm wrestle because he is so strong, but, my seven-year-old beat me in an arm wrestle because she is so “strong”. Why do they use quotation marks sometimes and other times not? Use examples.

Also, why do people put the words for a kid after their sentences. For example, when play fighting with their child they might say that she puts up a pretty good fight and is strong, for a kid. Or when measuring her height, she is tall, for a kid. Or that’s pretty impressive, for a kid. That picture hanging on the fridge is very good, for a kid. Why do people throw in the words for a kid or for their age after they make the comment? Isn’t it diminishing? I mean, I have never heard anyone say that person is strong for an adult. So why do they do it with the children?

Also a kid flexes their arms and say something like, i’m going to take you down, or, when you were at the store and you were pushing one of the carts with a steering wheels and your kid says, i’m driving. what does it mean when the grown-up responds with, Ok, Sure, Kid ? Isn’t this dismissing the child?

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ArishMell · 70-79, M

Intersting point!

Yes, it is demeaning - though I don't think using "for a ..." is confined to describing children.

It is, hopefully fading, but I have heard "for a woman", and "for someone of his/her age".

Though on physical attributes like height, it might be fair to use "for ... age" if unusually tall or short - not "for a child", though.

ImaNEWparent · 36-40, M

@ArishMell in my opinion it is diminishing. Sort of like “you’re pretty strong, for a preschooler, sort of implying that you’re stronger etc. etc.

ArishMell · 70-79, M

@ImaNEWparent I agree. Grown-ups have always like to think themselves somehow the "elders and betters" even when only the first adjective is accurate; but as I say, it is not only children who are patronised in this way.

SomeMichGuy · M

1) Air quotes
This is because they are likely conveying to another adult that, e.g., the "help" ended up making the project/task take MUCH longer, but you don't want the child to know.

2) "For a kid"
Completely understandable. The speaker is comparing a given particular child to others of a similar age (and often ought to say, "for a kid of his/her age").

The development of people in the first few decades has a lot of talents, abilities, etc., turning on at different points, and adults of various ages often observe children as they change and note things which seem to be characteristic of a child, or speculate upon what sort of adult the child will become, what he or she will do, etc.

It doesn't diminish; it frames an observation appropriately.

3) "Kid"
This can be either condescending pr genuine.

Context, including auditory and visual cues, is everything...

ImaNEWparent · 36-40, M

@SomeMichGuy can you give examples of each of them? So you’re saying they mean something different to the adult than it does to the child? Can you give me examples of each of them and how they are taken by the child and the adult?

SomeMichGuy · M

@ImaNEWparent

1) I gave the example of "help"; involving chrildren often means you are spending time keeping them safe--away from things, not getting into things, etc.‐‐and figuring out ways in which they CAN assist with their limited size, strength, coordination, understanding...without making them feel as though that's what you are doing.

Now, don't get me wrong, some people might be exasperated or even mean, sure. But the example I gave us more typical.

2) You gave a bunch pf examples:

strong/tall/impressive for a kid

we all have known people who were a head taller than most of us, stronger, or had skills "beyond their years"...

It's adults noting and marveling and (often) reminiscing.

But, again, some adults might be being asses, yes.

3) "Kid"--This is more likely to be dismissive or condescending, but the tone, etc., will usually tell that.

But it can also be just trying to get the attention of a child whose name you don't knowv "Hey, kid--watch out for that car/runner/dog/etc."

OlderSometimesWiser · F

No, what’s downright diminishing towards kids is when you keep showing up here to satisfy your sick obsession with children. But we’ll be here every effing time until you crawl back under your rock or even better, wind up in prison.

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