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We thought we needed them

Because through their "care", however fleeting or insincere, they gave us something we hadn't learned how to supply on our own.

Value and respect of self.

We don't need them.

What we do need is better appraisal of ourselves.

I don't know who needs to hear this but said with what little compassion and philanthropy is left in me, I hope one thing comes true.

I hope you find your worth through no one's regard except the person reading this.

The world doesn't care and will not change.
I can certainly agree to finding your own worth in yourself by yourself.

[quote]The world doesn't care and will not change.[/quote]

It can and it does even if we can't see it in the moment. Even though I myself often think the same because I don't have expectations from people and in accepting that the world doesn't care, it helps me stop caring myself. That part's liberating. The other part isn't because the repercussions of the world not caring still exist and sometimes in pursuit of liberating me of validation from others, it's easy to turn a blind eye to these repercussions.
It's contradicting but it helps to not sit too long in either mindframes.
Miram · 31-35, F
@HijabaDabbaDoo

What you experience is a part of the problem.

It is not the same for me. I don't turn a blind eye to things. I don't have that privilege.
@Miram what's your coping mechanism?
Miram · 31-35, F
It is alright to care and fail to help others. It is a part of the process

It is alright to feel like shiit.

What we do with it or don't do is what matters.

Coping mechanisms work for some time, and when they don't work that is fine too.

I don't use coping mechanisms when it is about someone else's wellbeing.

It is their truth and I shouldn't have to push it away to be functional. They don't care about me but I will care for them because it is part of my truth.

Unless I am experiencing compassion fatigue. My lack of empathy isn't lack of awareness nor care. It is survival mechanism.

I find that it is more tricky for others to deal with the emotional side of me when I express it and I get why they feel that way. We have different abilities and different backgrounds. And at times I reflect back their inadequacies and they shut down.

I try to keep that at mind when it comes to my expectations and I think that is far harder for me than juggling my feelings. It is people's feelings towards my feelings while my compassion is in an intense phase that is most challenging to deal with.

Because even when you stop resisting reality, there are outside forces which attempt to draw you into the same path as theirs.

I try my best to detach the mental experience from the polarity of bad vs good except in actions.

@HijabaDabbaDoo
RubySoo · 51-55, F
Yup. This is a lesson that can take a very long time to learn.......but one day it just dawns on you begin to see certain people and yr own needs in a different light.
Coppercoil · M
So then narcissists really got it made in this life.
Miram · 31-35, F
@Coppercoil

It is not narcissism to love yourself to a good extent.

 
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