Feeling lonely in an Islamic household.

I'm an introvert and have often isolated myself from my family for years. Now I want to rekindle that bond, but it's hard. They all laugh and have their inside jokes, which I don't understand, as well as, not knowing how to approach them due to the culture (I'm Pakistani from the UK) As a guy, it's difficult to bring it up with the fear of being knocked down for being too emotional etc. I'd like to hear advice from people who were in similar situations and how you managed to make your family notice you again.

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hartfire · 61-69

Try talking to each family member separately, at a time when no one else is around.
Ask them to explain those jokes and how they evolved.

High emotionality can be difficult in relationships and for the one who experiences it.
It's possible to learn to self-soothe in various ways. Try reading Daniel Goleman's "Emotional Intelligence".
It's also possible to learn better ways of expressing one's truth (ways less likely to trigger others' anger). Try Marshall Rosenberg's "Nonviolent Communication". It's also possible to listen to YouTube clips on the topic.

Cultural shock is always huge when moving from a familiar country to a strange one.
Be prepared to ask as many questions as you like until things make sense.

Try reading the sayings of Mohammed in English. In the midst of it is instructions on good manners for Muslims.

Be aware that many people have intergenerational trauma from times of past conflicts, and sometimes from events within this lifetime. Research PTSD to see if any of your family might have it.

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