People act like leaving Islam is about appealing to the west. Like we are betraying our own because we want to please our western overlords.

The colonialists.

Not sure why so few realize how difficult it is. There is nothing to be gained from it except being true to one self. We put ourselves in a position where we are seen as enemies by both, many muslims and non muslims alike.

Bigots don't magically start thinking of us as people just because of a change in an ideological position.

We are still dehumanized for values we hold that aren't in line with stigmatizing all the community we have left behind..

we are still dehumanized because we do hold humanitarian approach to war conflicts and many other reasons.

Not to mention the general indifference we have to put up with from western "liberals" and sometimes even harassment.

Being an ex-muslim isn't something people choose to be because of wanting to appeal to anyone. There is no one to please because there is no real support or protection.

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HijabaDabbaDoo · F

The Muslim identity is politicised to such an extent that people don't know how to humanise it even when they try to. It goes against both the conscious and subconscious scripts they've been exposed to. I say the 'Muslim identity' just to cover everyone that comes from a Muslim background or upbringing.

Live in your truth as you are and wait for everyone else to catch up. If they don't, I guess you discern whether they're worthy keeping around and if you feel they are, you decide how to navigate them in your lives as they are.

I know and understand we're worlds apart and that's ok.
I also know people run with the version that appeases them, like we're all pawns in their game of morality. It can be frustrating, and discouraging but like I've said before, I'm glad you share your truth even when it gets difficult.

Miram · 31-35, F

@HijabaDabbaDoo

I am unsure whether you mean politicized by the west to discriminate against muslims.

Or within the muslim world to discriminate against exmuslims.

Because both meanings would be true.

Most exmuslims do not have the privilige to share their truths unfortunately. They can't share. And online it can be counterproductive because

-It can put you on a list and end up spending most of your life behind bars..

-Can make you settle down for it, like maladaptive coping mechanism and a substitute for true freedom

"If I just remain complacent, they won't hurt me"

I don't particularly blame my fellow ex-muslims whatever their choices are, and whatever the extent to which they are living their truth.

The communities are the ones who should be regarded as responsible and who should be taking actions to provide better world for everyone because we all just want to exist and serve our own happiness. And there is nothing wrong in that.

The amount of carelessness certainly drives one further and further from our communities even if they weren't already abandoned. So while those exmuslims remain within the community, silent and stealth, they still struggle with depression, self hatred and high suicide rates.

And those of us who do share it out and about, have to accept that it comes at the cost of living. If not today, tomorrow or the day after. It comes with significant life risks depending on location.

We need more than just living our truth to live and survive.

I would like to believe that things will ever change but I doubt it. The way the world is going doesn't suggest things will ever get better for anyone that considers themselves part of society.

HannibalAteMeOut · 22-25, F

I've always felt like believing or not is not actually a choice. It's something out of your control. It's your choice to read about religion, some people even try to make themselves believe in something, but it doesn't work like that, it either resonates or not. Most people follow the religion they are born into, but then they say "I chose it, even though my parents and my whole commumity believes in it". No, you chose to live the lifestyle based on it, but you didn't choose your belief. How is that even possible? To wake up one day and say "Oh now I want to appeal to this community so I'm going to reject everything I believe in and accept something else".
If you did that in order to appeal to the west, you would have at least chosen to be christian. But even then, there would still be someone to discriminate against you.

Miram · 31-35, F

@HannibalAteMeOut

I find it offensive when people ask me to become a christian and to consider it the moment they realize I am not a Muslim.

Whether it comes from a good place or not, it still feels like being treated as a goal and as someone to use to feel good about their own position, not someone who is capable of exploring their options alone especially the obvious ones. Christianity is an obvious popular belief at this point.

It is difficult to see believing as a choice, especially when they are so short in knowledge and don't even know most of their religion. They embrace only otherness and nothing else.

If anything it is a pride and ego battle, not faith. You do not want to be made to feel like you are just following whatever everyone else does even if you were.

It's easy, it is safe.

HannibalAteMeOut · 22-25, F

@Miram lack of faith is looked so much down upon, some people refuse to accept we are capable of living well without any religion. At this point it's just marketing for them, oh you are not buying from this company anymore so just come buy from ours. But who told you I needed a product in the first place?

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