Religion & Spirituality

Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

I Am Enjoying Being A Muslim

I want to find arms that will hold me at my weakest times, eyes that will see my beauty at my ugliest times, and a heart that will love me at my worst. The [u]successful marriage[/u] is not when we [u]can[/u] live in peace [u]with[/u] our spouse, but when we [u]can't[/u] live in peace [u]without[/u] them.

When we will spot our spouse in Paradise, we will stare at each other in an awe of each other's beauty.

[Quran 30:21]:
[quote]"And of His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquility in them; and He planted love and compassion between you. In this are signs for people who reflect."[/quote]

If you don't intend to marry her, keep your hands off another man's wife. If you intend to marry her, keep your hands off until she's your wife. Real love starts after marriage.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Pherick · 41-45, M

This always seems so backwards to me. How could you possible know if you have a real connection with someone if you "keep your hands off before marriage"?

I mean you don't have to bang each other silly on the first date .. but come on :)

1-25 of 37

SW-User

I mean, if you think the physical intimacy is a mark of a connection, that could influence ur choice

Pherick · 41-45, M

@DatBoi: How can you have a healthy marriage without physical intimacy?

Madeleine · 41-45, F

How many people got divorced even though they lived together before marriage.

Madeleine · 41-45, F

@DatBoi: Physical intimacy is important, but doesn't guarantee a successful marriage if it's done before commitment.

Madeleine · 41-45, F

@Pherick: Sleeping together before marriage does more harm than good to society.

SW-User

@Madeleine: I am saying that you get to love a person WITHOUT the physical intimacy :O
You get to know them, THEN you do whatever you want. I think that's the idea

Pherick · 41-45, M

@Madeleine: Plenty, but I don't see that as a reason to not touch before getting married. I suppose I don't see marriage as an unbreakable covanent before (God of your choice). Its a secular institution to me that shouldn't be taken lightly, but also shouldn't be considered "holy".

Pherick · 41-45, M

@Madeleine: I really don't think sleeping together before marriage causes any harm to society.

FallenOptimist22 · M

@Pherick arrange marriages last longer than love marriages

Pherick · 41-45, M

@FallenOptimist22: If that's true (which I don't totally believe, I would need to research) Its very easy to see why, cultures that have arranged marriages may not even allow for a woman to get a divorce. So not hard to have them last longer when half of the people in them can't even ask for a divorce.

FallenOptimist22 · M

@Pherick: i live in the second most populous country and i have observed
and now most of them have the option of divorce but their marriages last

Pherick · 41-45, M

@FallenOptimist22: Also the real question to me is not how LONG a marriage lasts, but how HAPPY people are in a marriage. Would you rather see a 50 year long marriage where everyone in the marriage is miserable or a 20 year long marriage where it ended when it needed to?

Madeleine · 41-45, F

@DatBoi: A couple should talk and see if they are on the same page, but sex doesn't always indicate love, especially for men.

FallenOptimist22 · M

@Pherick: they are really happy, see it is about how people are brought up
emotions and bonds are stronger in some culture compared to other

Pherick · 41-45, M

@FallenOptimist22: Who is really happy? Again this is not something you can make blanket statements about. Feelings, love, happiness inside a marriage is INCREDIBLY complex, you can't simplify it. You can't even just ask someone and expect an honest answer about it.

FallenOptimist22 · M

@Pherick: i agree but neither can you right

SW-User

@Madeleine: True

Madeleine · 41-45, F

@Pherick: Mistakes happen, but we try as best as we can to do the right thing.

Madeleine · 41-45, F

@Pherick: Divorce is always an option if marriage was not happy. But this doesn't mean that we go around and sleep with whoever we feel attracted to. The issue is not completely personal. It has a significant effect on society at large and many individuals could be harmed by it. And frankly, most people don't have sex "out of love" these days, it's only physical, and one of the two will get hurt.

Pherick · 41-45, M

@Madeleine: I have to disagree with your opinions, well some of them. I don't think it has any significant negative effect on society, nor do I think many individuals could be harmed by it. There is no reason that two people can't have physical attraction sex and not be hurt by it.

Madeleine · 41-45, F

@Pherick: What about children who born outside normal family environment, and most of them grow up not knowing who their fathers are.. and sometimes not even their mothers? What about young girls who have to drop out of school to support their child because the guy washed his hands and the parents refused to help? How about women/girls who had to do abortion and kill a soul that never been born yet, just because they got pregnant "by mistake"? .. and the list goes on and on.

Madeleine · 41-45, F

@FallenOptimist22: It doesn't have to be an "arranged marriage". But sleeping together before their wedding day is wrong.

Pherick · 41-45, M

@Madeleine: Children having children is a much different issue, than having sex out of wedlock. Though I would argue agressive sexual health teaching would help solve most of this issue. If schools/churches/etc stopped acting like kids aren't going to have sex, and started teaching them how to handle sex like adults, then we would see unplanned births dropping.

Although as you can see in the chart here, http://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/adolescent-health-topics/reproductive-health/teen-pregnancy/trends.html

Trends have been dropping steadily after the past 25 years.

Abortion is again another entire issue, I don't see it as killing a soul, buts thats a whole different argument.

Madeleine · 41-45, F

@Pherick: I am speaking from an Islamic prospective. Divorce is an option for either partner to ask for if they feel unhappy. But it has to be done decently and with respect to one another.

Madeleine · 41-45, F

@Pherick: Sex before marriage doesn't guarantee a happy marriage. This is the point.

1-25 of 37