I just got an email shaming me for my inability to grow garlic

"Any idiot can grow garlic. Seriously. When's the last time you watched a television special on the "Remarkable Garlic Growing Person"? Never. Because you do not have to be remarkable in any way, shape or form to successfully grow garlic. But you do have to plant it - and the time to plant is October...."

...guess I could follow some directions this time.