Ultimately I think some people can't hold space for you because it's not about who you are, it's about what you give.

And if you aren't giving them what they want, even temporarily, they lose all sense of togetherness.

Part of me understands in a sense, we don't want to be with someone who isn't there for us...

But it matters why someone isn't there. It matters that sometimes we need to be there for others too. Or simply hold space for them while they go through what they need to. Be encouraging. Be supportive, because you believe in them as a person and as someone capable of picking themselves up. Not to fix them and get frustrated that you can't. Then ditch them because you aren't receiving enough in return for your vain efforts.

In my case, every time we parted it was because I needed some emotional support and kindness and it always got thrown in my face, but he needs emotional support too.I gave all I could, but I'm not endless. And even in seeing my faults and absences throughout the relationship, I still didn't deserve retaliation for being exhausted and needing touch.