I needed last night.
Sunday was a great day. A long one, but still a really good one because I forced myself into a different mindset to make getting through the ten hour shift easier for me. But then the night hit. The usual aches from standing on my feet all day came, but so did the eye/sinus pain I hadn’t had in a few weeks to remind me of what still exists within me. Then the anxiety fueled feeling of every heartbeat came. At that moment I had more medication in my system than I liked, so I skipped my allergy medicine that makes me drowsy despite being called non drowsy. I also skipped my usual before bed snack because of everything going on with my body being so much of the focus for me, and my husband was already in bed to prepare for an earlier shift at work unknowingly disrupting the bedtime routine that he didn’t know played a key part in me having a solid night of rest.
It wasn’t until after midnight when the ibuprofen kicked in enough for me to get drowsy, but upon going to bed he was sleeping in the middle of it and the room felt too hot for me to be comfortable sleeping in. I turned the air down more and put on a muted episode of The Office, but sleep just wasn’t coming. So, my pillows and I took a trip to Sofa City and I proceeded to scroll through Instagram since the action makes my eyes heavy. I finally drifted off sometime after 1am just to have one nightmare after another, one that I actually woke myself up from because I was growling like a demon. Yeah. That was a thing.
I tossed and turned on the sofa having one horrible dream after another until 5 something when I decided to try the bed again since I found myself chilled under a smaller blanket. I slept until 9 but it was too little, too late. I was wrecked the entire day. Any night anxiety grabs hold takes at least another day to recoup from, like an anxiety hangover. My first day off was a scratch even though I tried to salvage it with 80’s movies and Minecraft.
But this morning I’m waking up to my second day off and it’s like night and day compared to the one that came before. I took my allergy medicine last night, ate, and called dibs on the bed before he did. I was out like a light until a lovely 8:30am when a low rumble of thunder whispered “Good morning” in my ear. Now I feel like I’m going to finally have the day off I deserve and I honestly couldn’t be happier about it. The 80’s movies and Minecraft theme will continue because I recognize when my body and soul needs some rest instead of the constant doing this or that to feel a sense of accomplishment within a day. Some days the only thing that needs to be accomplished is just being…just breathing…and I’m more than okay with that.
Happy whatever day it is to you. Keep breathing. Keep being ☮️
It wasn’t until after midnight when the ibuprofen kicked in enough for me to get drowsy, but upon going to bed he was sleeping in the middle of it and the room felt too hot for me to be comfortable sleeping in. I turned the air down more and put on a muted episode of The Office, but sleep just wasn’t coming. So, my pillows and I took a trip to Sofa City and I proceeded to scroll through Instagram since the action makes my eyes heavy. I finally drifted off sometime after 1am just to have one nightmare after another, one that I actually woke myself up from because I was growling like a demon. Yeah. That was a thing.
I tossed and turned on the sofa having one horrible dream after another until 5 something when I decided to try the bed again since I found myself chilled under a smaller blanket. I slept until 9 but it was too little, too late. I was wrecked the entire day. Any night anxiety grabs hold takes at least another day to recoup from, like an anxiety hangover. My first day off was a scratch even though I tried to salvage it with 80’s movies and Minecraft.
But this morning I’m waking up to my second day off and it’s like night and day compared to the one that came before. I took my allergy medicine last night, ate, and called dibs on the bed before he did. I was out like a light until a lovely 8:30am when a low rumble of thunder whispered “Good morning” in my ear. Now I feel like I’m going to finally have the day off I deserve and I honestly couldn’t be happier about it. The 80’s movies and Minecraft theme will continue because I recognize when my body and soul needs some rest instead of the constant doing this or that to feel a sense of accomplishment within a day. Some days the only thing that needs to be accomplished is just being…just breathing…and I’m more than okay with that.
Happy whatever day it is to you. Keep breathing. Keep being ☮️
46-50, F
