but then I was just 17

I don't remember much from my past life before adulthood, but I remember..

When I was 17, I used to wake up at 3 am to study for finals .. I'd buy *chips and stuff as if I am going to a party, but it was also mostly to force myself to wake up...

I'd go to the empty living room in the middle of the night, sooo freaking sleepy, study and feel that I am surrounded by ghosts and devils... then I'd sleep a little before my exam time, and get sleep paralysis, which confirmed to me the ghosts theory that were in the living room.

I mostly remember studying religious studies... my god how much I struggled to memorise Quran!! I thought at the time that I was such an infidel for not being able to memorise it!! Or how I lost focus when I read it, I was always like shame on me... Only now I realise that the verses are in fact not put in sequential order 🤷‍♀️ So how on earth am I supposed to keep focus or memorise something that is incoherent. I swear it did hit me back then as to why one verse would be talking about something, and then about something completely different in the next verse, but I always blamed my limited stupid human brain for not being able to comprehend this divine wording and stuff..

Yea I do not know why I remembered these days... I guess life was much simpler then ... i liked going to school to meet my girlfriend... I remember how my world would literally light up and turn rainbows when I saw her... but then I was just 17.