Have you ever cooked meth for a crazed biker gang?

Just that one time, 31-35 years ago.

No but I cleaned out a car at the car lot where I worked and strongly suspected it had been used by meth makers…found receipts, empty packages of cold meds, etc. and odds & ends of dishes. It got hauled across the scales…so damaged that there was nothing the owner could salvage, engine transmission in bad shape, radial tires with wires showing, every signal light broken, door handles yanked off, broken windows etc. It was a repo.

Obviously. Do I look like an amateur?

I am about to

No, not among my skill sets.

Yes, they always like my cooking.