If a relative keeps asking you about having kids...

If a relative keeps asking you about having kids, lie that the wife is pregnant. A few months later, tell them there was a miscarriage so they'll feel uncomfortable bringing up the subject again.

Alternate route: Say that you're trying, but not having any luck. Then engage them in a long and extensive conversation about positions, ovulation timing and cervical mucus.

"I always try to cum deep inside of your granddaughter, i swear! But it doesn't seem to make a difference."