Why Christmas is better than a woman

It shows up on time. Every. Single. Year.

It comes with gifts, not emotional baggage.

It always smells amazing.

It doesn’t judge my eating habits.

It makes everyone around it nicer.

When it’s over, it doesn’t text you at 1 a.m. saying it “misses your energy.”

Christmas never says, “We need to talk.”

At the end it doesn't care if you’ve been naughty or nice

Christmas always jingle my bells