I want to get into the spirit and do all the decorating and fun things but whatever made it happy before is gone. It's such a burden to pretend I want to do any of it. I do it for my son, I try to be excited for him, however inside I'd rather avoid all of it.
I'd hoped it would get better as the years went on after my parents passing, it's been 6-7 years, but I still resent the joyous togetherness.
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Since our son is grown it's harder to really get into them without that thrill of a little kid in the house. Plus the past couple of years with my wife's dementia it's harder and harder to get into the holiday spirit because she doesn't really get involved like she used to. This year I don't know what it will be like.
