I want to get into the spirit and do all the decorating and fun things but whatever made it happy before is gone. It's such a burden to pretend I want to do any of it. I do it for my son, I try to be excited for him, however inside I'd rather avoid all of it.
I'd hoped it would get better as the years went on after my parents passing, it's been 6-7 years, but I still resent the joyous togetherness.
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I am actually looking forward to a Christmas with snow (hopefully it will be a white Christmas) since I wasn’t here for a few years and I missed the snow alot..
