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A delightful pandemonium now is in tall order

After a month and a half of a strict diet of mostly just theology type of reading, i shall open up the floodgates to whatever else i want to include in the daily sturm und drang. It's like 40 some days was a payment for me to feel like i deserve Beyond Good and Evil again, reading it is like drinking refreshing water after a long duration of too sweet fruit juice.

The close and maddeningly frenzical study of Christianity is even more emphasized, it's now tooth and nail, or maybe that's my expectation, to mentally formulate a most extreme situation and to see how in reality it is much less dramatic, like worrying about loved ones on the road, and imagining all the things that could go wrong, and then they get back home and it's such a relief. I remember past experiences with Nietzsche how i was amazed and surprised at how humane he was, how much of a good guy he really was, whereas his reputation in my churchly sphere is of worst sort imaginable. Once i was speaking with a friendly pastor in the pews, and he asked what've you been reading, and meekly i blubbered out Nietzsche, and his jaw figuratively dropped to the floor, we never really spoke after that.

Kierkegaard in relation to the Reformed i believe is that Existentialism is seen as a humanism, using a Sartre book title as a hint, and is thus opposed to the God-centred focus of Reformed theology, but i still wish to see Reformed folks take Kierkegaard seriously, there's a brief Sproul video on him, but he doesn't go into any depth. I know sort of that liberal theologians had a hey day with him, but i don't care about that, i want the impossible, for the orthodox reformed fellers to do a deep dive, what and how does an individualistic mindset effect a sola scriptura, and the 4 other solas stance?

It may be within my grasp, but i must make all the resources dance, or perform like a world class symphony or trophy winning sports team. Last night i asked dad if our team is anywhere's close to their glory days, and i was delighted with how informed he was, he takes sports of this kind seriously, and said they have the good players, they just don't play as a team like they used to when they won 5 trophies in 7 years i think.

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